A Second Chance

15

Listen to the song above

Doncaster /Uk

When he stormed out of their shared flat and skipped Ireland two days ago he left everything behind: his friends, his family and a single grave with a little wooden cross.

A grave too small for two persons.
In fact there will be only one name written on the stone.
But he knows that two persons are in that silent small grave under the weeping willows. 
Two who meant heaven on earth to him.

Since they have gone life feels like hell.

Hellfire hot burning, consumptious and devouring that are torturing his mind.
Dark creatures as created by a fantasy author have soaked up every drop of hope, have drained all his energy, happiness and love until nothing was left than his empty shell lying on the ground.

His reason to breath, a memory.  Together with their little secret that they were finally ready to share .

Was it destiny, twist of fate or just coincidence that she died the same day they wanted to tell their parents, wanted to reveal their love, wanted to share their joy.

He doesn't know, he won't never fathom.
He is struggling with God ever since that day.

Why of all people, why her ?
Every night he screams at him in sheer desperation while lying alone in his cold bed, cries for reasons until his vocal chords can't produce more than a rasping sound.

Night after night he gets out of his bed silently searching for the only thing that can calm his raging mind, can quieten down his screaming thoughts. A friend he loves and dreads.

He can't understand her family, can't share their trust in God after all.
They even forgave the one who killed her. It was a slap in his face.

In his view they should have been his allies to cry and grieve with, people  who understand.
But they don't.
And there's a voice deep inside screaming betrayal and deception.

He is alone with all his hurt, his left over feelings.

It felt so wrong to reach out for Gemma's parents after her death and telling them 
something like "I was her boyfriend, she was having my baby and we planned on getting  married."
No way ! Completely out of place.

He didn't want to add that and still isn't convinced that might be a good idea.

Yet it's only half the truth.

He neither can't share their secret with people who don't see his anger, his hate.

All these thoughts of hatred and revenge that are twirling inside are  slowly poisoning his mind.
Make him numb, unable to accept other views, blindfold him.

They lead to lashing out to Harry two days ago although he was yearning for his comfort, for his friendship.

The very truth is Louis needs a place to scream, a warm shoulder to lean on.
Yet everyone seems in a distance.
They all chose the wrong side. They support the offender.

The last days have messed up his mind to the point that he isn't sure what he's really searching for.

Surely he wants someone to hold him tight, someone to ground him.

Louis needs to hear words of assurance so badly, wants someone to share his hate. His hate that is eating him alive.

Nonetheless he certainly can't  handle someone telling him their own opinion, questioning his point of view.

All those damn hypocritical cowards covering a murderer. He's seeking for justice.
A bloody vilian took the life of two persons and nobody seems to care, seems to find him guilty.