Perfectly Unseen

71: old and new

"What are you doing, Ailie?" Emma looked at me while I studied her curiously.

After sleeping off the alcohol within the few hours left of the school day, she had taken me wordlessly to a cafe down the road from the school before I could even say a word. I felt that she should see what I was like now. That maybe after, she would give up. She'd realize I was too far gone to be saved.

Just like Ashton realized.

My arms crossed over my chest as I furrowed my brows. Her expression wasn't angry. Why wasn't it angry?

"Hear me out." She readjusted her messy bangs before taking a sip of the coffee on the small wooden table. "So you used to be this person," she gestured to all of me with the swish of her wrist, "and after the accident you decided to be someone else... someone better. Right?"

"Alright," I sighed, drinking the caramel latte as I leaned in. "I'll play along." Nodding, I bit my fake nail, a small smile slipping over my lips amusedly.

Emma's brows raised as she inhaled slowly, her eyes flickering over my new found attitude. "You believe this is the person you really are... that these last four years have been nothing but a mask."

I hummed, my back hitting my seat as I fell back gently. "Yes. That would be the gist of it. Is that everything? I mean, I already knew all that..." I shrugged, gulping down a mouthful of the sweetened coffee as my eyes wandered to the cute barrista behind her. With a smile, I gave him a little wave, my fingers moving in a way that left him mesmerized for the moment.

"I think you're wrong." Emma interrupted me with a tired sigh, "People change. Just because you were this person back then doesn't mean you aren't the Ailie I know."

"You're wrong and I'm bored." I stood up, brushing off my skirt. "If that's all you wanted to say, then I think I'll be going. Thanks for the coffee." Giving her the cold shoulder, I found my way up to the barrista; admiring his posture as it shifted nervously, noticing my nearing approach.

"Ailie, I'm sorry." Emma didn't give up. "You went through hell and you've continued to be in hell since. Those things change a person." She spoke with my back turned stiffly to her. "I'm here when you need to talk. I won't abandon you."

My eyes shut as my heart gave a painful twang in my chest. "Give it up, Emma. I lied to you. Every time we had heart to hearts, I lied knowingly to your face. It's what I do. Face it, I'm not who you thought I was." Opening my eyes, I could feel part of me wither away.

"Maybe that's true to a certain extent." She kept going while I exhaled loudly, frustrated at her stubbornness to let me go. "But you never did anything to hurt me. You hid your past. But you didn't lie about it—you just let me assume." Her voice softened, "I told you once that you were my person. I didn't say it for the hell of it. I meant it. I love you, Ailie. Your bad and good alike. You are my best friend." Her hand barely touched my shoulder as she took a step to stand beside me. "You might think running from the pain and all of your problems will work with this new personification, but that's not how it works. You can try to shut it out—you can try to shut us all out and maybe it will work sometimes, but you're never going to be happy. People around you that really love you aren't going to be happy. You're hurting them more than you would be—"

"That's not true." I whispered, my character breaking already. "You are all better without me. Just let it go—let me go." My hands balled up tightly into fists, "I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry." With that, I brushed past her, walking away from the barrista too as my contacts burned from the tears gathering.

"I'm here when you need to talk. I'll never give up on you, Ailie—" She called out shamelessly before the door closed behind me and shut out all of the noise.

I had to get a grip.

~+~+~

"Get up." I pulled the covers off of Cadi, throwing her clothes. "We're leaving."

Why did I think it was a good idea to come back here? I was lucky it was Wednesday. Aurora had her weekly appointments on Wednesday.

"Hurry up." I grumbled, stuffing clothes and other belongings inside a bag.

Cadi moaned, "I'm going to be sick if I move." She whined, trying to pull the covers back up.

"I really don't care." I told her, grabbing her arm as I pulled her up. "Get up. We're going." Her cold eyes rolled annoyedly, ripping her arm out of my grip. "Be downstairs in less than five minutes or I'm leaving without you." With an irritated head shake, I left her flipping me off on my bed.

I quickly grabbed the wad of cash I had stuck inside my bag as I reached my kitchen, throwing most of it onto the breakfast bar with a note.

I'm sorry.

"Hurry up, Cadi!" I screamed, pulling on my shoes as I dialled the number for only the second time quickly.

"Hello?" The cheerful voice answered almost a second later.

"Hey, you still want a friend, right?" I smiled, toying with the bag as she confirmed with a laugh. "Well how about two? I'll even throw in a few extra days to hear all about our life experience."

She hummed, her voice intrigued as she gave a chuckle. "What the hell. I'll text you an address."

~+~+~

Do you remember who it is?