Perfectly Unseen

64: a lost cause

(Ashton's POV taking it back a few chapters)

She was there. In my bed.
Shit. She was in my bed.

She was resting on her stomach, limbs sprawled out and greedily taking up the width of my bed. She had kicked off her jeans, revealing dark purple booty shorts that let just the bottom of her ass cheeks fall out. On anyone else it wouldn't even be worth looking at—but on her, I couldn't tear my eyes off long enough to let my imagination take over. Her perfect golden pink skin glowed against the black sheets under her; showing off her curves like a spotlight was permanently held over her.

She was perfect. Ailie Dawn was perfect.

Tracing patterns against her soft skin, my lips left invisible impressions—pushing her purple bra straps to the side so I could continue my masterpiece. Each brush of a touch brought a shiver to my skin that kept me by her side instead of performing my usual activities after having sex: video games and cigarettes. Instead, my mind rolled through the events that happened just before she had fallen into a dead sleep in my arms, like a real-life sleeping beauty.

Every second of it was burned into my brain. We didn't even fuck and still it was stealing my capacity for rational thoughts.

And fuck—even in my memories she held me captive. She was so goddamn beautiful. The way her body moved. How easily she ripped into my scarred skin with the ecstasy coursing through her. Damn—the way she screamed my name and trembled underneath me. All of her reactions to me...it just left me needing to cause even more out of her body.

I would have given anything to hear her moan my name in pleasure again.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, falling onto my back, cursing her name. She was making me insane. I wasn't this person. I didn't feel these things for anybody—especially not little creep.

She was too fucked up to mess with.

"It was a mistake." I whispered loudly, looking at her sleeping figure. "I won't touch you again—I won't fuck you up even more." I promised her as much as myself, my chest growing heavy as the memories flashed by again.

I had to escape from her.

With a whimper, the princesses tiny body began to tremble. Her frail arms wrapped around herself, hiding her vulnerability to whatever she was seeing in that head of hers. Fuck knows what she was going through: her dad wishing her dead or her sister blaming her for their mothers death.

It was fucked up. Family didn't act like that.

Except they did. Something I knew more than most. I just thought—-maybe even hoped—that we were the exception. That the good ones had good families to go home to at night. That only the fucked up had the fucked up families to go home to.

But Ailie shattered that subconscious hope. Because she was good. She was so fucking good. Stubborn as shit... but good.

Closing my eyes and cursing her once more, I moved closer, pulling her in tightly to me. She fit against me too perfectly. She was too fucking perfect.

She made me hate myself more than I already did. It was impressive really—how much more I could detest my existence just from meeting the girl.

She sighed, her body relaxing as she turned around in the circle of my arms. Her fingers tangled in the material over my chest, pulling herself even closer to my heart than she previously was. Her eyelids softened, the sheen pinkness smoothing out as she inhaled deeply—her long blonde lashes fluttering before settling over her cheeks in soft curls. She had her lips in the perfect heart shaped pout, her lips still swollen and slightly chapped from earlier. Her cheeks were flushed, the redness standing out as I found myself counting the few freckles that were barely visible on her skin: 17.

Once more, my lips curled into a sneer as I slapped myself mentally. I was acting like a chick. She needed to get the fuck out of my head, like yesterday. I was done with the bullshit—caring if her little feelings were hurt or not. Caring if she was hurt or not. Caring if she was freaking happy or not.

It wasn't my job.

God fucking knows I was bad at the job. I wasn't about to fuck up again. I wasn't about to watch it all fail—watch her give up like Cassie. I couldn't fucking do it. I wouldn't do it. Fuck. I couldn't. I just couldn't.

"Fuck, Ailie. Fuck." I swore quietly, my fingers winding in her silky blonde hair; caressing her gently as I brought my face down to hers. "Please fight. Fucking fight." Everything shook as my forehead touched hers; my resolve to stay away crumbling like it was nothing but cracked dried clay to begin with. "I can't watch you die." I felt the words seep into her, surrounding her like a shield as the mere idea strangled me.

I was suffocating and I could do nothing but watch. I was stuck. She wouldn't release me. She wouldn't let me go. No matter how many times I tried to let her go, she damn well wormed her way back in without even trying.

That was the part that made me the most frustrated. She didn't have to do anything and still my thoughts consisted of only her. I just couldn't give up on her even if she was a lost cause.

Everything was falling apart around me. But if she stayed together nothing else mattered. Not even the fact that he was back, threatening to finish what he had started with Cassie. If Ailie was there, she would find me. She wouldn't let me become him—no matter how tempting it was to just fade into his alter ego. She wouldn't let me.

And it was so goddamn stupid.

She was a lost cause that I was betting everything on and I wouldn't take it back even if I could.

My fingers trickled down her skin, her warmth spreading from my fingertips to my chest to every other part of my body—just like her kiss. I was doomed from the moment she touched me. My fingers stopped as I felt unnatural ridges that felt too familiar.

Scars.

"Shit, baby..." I could barely breathe. It stretched across her ribs, the mark too thick to be from something little—it was like the one over my collarbone. "What happened to you, Ailie? Why are you so quick to believe all the things your father tells you?" My lips whispered against her check as I carefully laid her down on her back so I could take a better look. "What's the story to your scars?"

Hovering over her, I watched her sleep, worry free, for a timeless moment before losing to the temptation gnawing at my bones. Dipping my head down and letting my eyes close before skimming my nose against hers, my lips finally touched down on hers for just the briefest of seconds. Her lips parted under mine, dragging me back in for more as her fingers held my jaw softly in her sleep. I might as well have been her captive; there only to fulfil her wishes as she drank me in and stole my very life out from underneath me. Holding her securely in my arms, I kissed her the way only fools do—slowly and simply. No intentions. No heat.

Just a simple kiss that left me gasping for my life before I met her—before a simple kiss could make my knees weak.

Before I was completely torn apart by a girl that was too perfect and yet too fucked up for me to fix.

~+~+~

My heart 😩❤
This is also like my favourite freaking song so that helps 😂
But seriously, I'm dead.