Perfectly Unseen

39: deep deep down

D e e p
           deep down
          ~+~+~+~

"HEY, Ailie!" The blonde cheerleader called me over the moment Emma and I stepped into the gym; her perfect bubblegum pink lips curved up into a smile as she waved a delicately manicured hand at me.

With warming cheeks, I pulled Emma along with me through our gym classmates -who had spread like the Red Seas- and avoided all eye-contact with the gossiping kids. According to the rumours this morning, there were a lot of mixed feelings about me. Thanks to Liam being my friend and now Missy somehow tolerating me, a very limited amount of people have begun to believe I was an alright person again. However, Ashton's feelings about me were still unclear and thus, I was still the creep stalking him and the rest of the school body absolutely hated that. I doubt it would be much better if they believed he actually liked me as a friend --his fans were awfully protective of him. They spat in everyone's face.

"You should get into fights with cheerleaders more often." Emma whispered with a giggle as she poked my side.

"They fight dirty." I grinned amusedly, walking up to the beautiful girl sitting on the bleachers.

"So, did you book today off or what?" Missy spoke right away with the pop of her pink gum. "I decided I'd give up my Sunday's but apparently y'all were too stupid to give up the most boring day of the week." She tsked, tossing a baseball around in her hands.

My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to understand the gibberish coming out of her mouth. "Um, what are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes before suddenly frowning, pulling back her arm and throwing the ball straight ahead. "You fûcking jackass!" Missy yelled out just as the fast ball hit its target with a deep yelp.

"Mother fûcker, Missy!" Ashton cursed loudly as he stomped his way over to her with a red face and his hand rubbing his head where the ball had collided with him. "The hell do you want?" He hissed, glaring at her as she cocked an eyebrow up at him.

"I want you to stop treating my girls like they are some fûcking fill-in for someone and leaving before its light enough out to actually see them." She crossed her arms on her chest as she leaned back while I tried not to vomit again from imagining his nightly activities. "You can't just promise them the world, have -apparently- passion filled sêx with them, then leave them before their heads hit the pillow. You're better than that, Ryder." She sighed, her turquoise eyes hardening. "Grow up before you knock someone up. I love those girls, but they will make your life a living hell if you put that on them."

Ashton's dark eyes flickered angrily to mine pointedly, causing me to look down at my shoes as Emma shamelessly kept watching the scene like it was a movie. Her blue eyes bright as she sat at the edge of her seat in suspense --I wouldn't have been surprised if she pulled out a bag of popcorn.

"Jesus, Missy, do you mind?" He muttered, "Why not just tell the entire fûcking universe my business?" He shook his head annoyedly as the dark hair flew in his reddened face. "Talk to me when you've learned to quit being such an attention whôre." He spat before turning tail and stalking off --leaving Emma stunned, me uncomfortable, and Missy irritated.

"Fûck you, Ashton. At least this 'attention whôre' cares for your dumbass." She bit out to his tensed back, "I just don't want you to fuck your life up, okay? You've been through enough already." Her voice softened as she shook her head defeatedly.

Ashton hesitated. I could practically see his eyes rolling as he decided to come back. "I won't," he finally spoke, ruffling her blonde curls as I tried to peel my eyes off of them with a tightened chest. "I'm careful, okay? I'm not stupid."

Missy blew out a breath, "That's debatable. Why can't you just get a girlfriend and be in an actual relationship?"

Ashton laughed, "Missy, you've lost it if you believe for a second I'm boyfriend material." Once more Ashton realized he had an audience as he looked down at Emma and I beside Missy on the bleachers, a step under hers. "What do you think, Princess? Am I boyfriend material?" His lips twitched up into an amused smile.

My eyes caught his dark obsidian blue ones for a moment as I held my breath in wonder. "Who knows, Ashton." I finally said quietly, looking away.

I was suddenly exhausted and all I could think about was our conversation in the bathroom. I didn't know what to believe anymore when it came to Ashton --he seemed to flip flop like a fish without water. One minute he thought I was nothing and the next...I suddenly mattered. If that was how he would act to someone he loved, I didn't think boyfriend material was one of his finer qualities. He might have been a good guy on the inside -somewhere deep deep down- but he still had a lot of maturing to do. I was just suddenly tired of it. I wanted certainty instead of the twisted confusion he always left me in.

"Okay, well whatever." Missy broke the awkward silence, "As I was asking Ailie before you so rudely interrupted by showing your ugly face: what day did you guys choose for the aquarium?" She asked, pulling his arm to get his attention which was locked on me.

"Thursday."'Ashton and I both answered after a moment of him studying me.

"Did you copy my schedule again, little creep?" He teased, kicking my thigh playfully to get me to react.

"No." I moved away from his touch as his eyebrows furrowed worriedly, "I start up work soon and I always have Thursday's off." I frowned at him tiredly just as Mr Carter ran in with a red face.

"Sorry class! Wife called." He chuckled nervously before telling us to get up and run a couple of laps.

Ashton kept his eye on me throughout the class; always trying to crack some immature joke. He didn't understand my want to be alone. He was making me feel like crap and I just didn't know why. But I needed him to leave me alone.

Not that he cared about what I wanted.