These Demons

Chapter Fifty-two

***I recently noticed that Wattpad had 'unpublished' some chapters, so if any of you notice it happening again, PLEASE let me know!***

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"Andy?"

Great. More people. When I open my eyes and curse the bright light again, I find my entire band minus CC standing around my bed and although I'm glad they're here, a part of me also wants to be far away from all mankind.

"Are you awake?" Ashley asks being as stupid as he tends to be.
"What does it look like?" I mutter and notice I still sound like I haven't used my voice in a year, but not nearly as bad as the last time I heard myself talk.
I don't even know when that was, though. How long have I been out this time?

"Oh, thank god!" he exclaims and his face lights up.
"We were so worried about you!" Jake agrees and the green smoothie he's holding almost makes me cackle.
"Everyone is freaking out, man!" Ashley points out what everyone knows.
"We're glad you're... better," Jinxx tries to make things sound more positive, but the others don't get the hint from Mama Jinxx.
"You just dropped dead!" Jake informs me and earns a bump in his ribs from Ash.
"Dude, don't say that!" he scolds him, but Jake doesn't seem to get it.
I already know where this is going.
"He obviously isn't dead!" Jake defends himself, but the other one is still mad.
"Then don't say it!" he hisses, but isn't taken seriously.
"It wasn't meant like that!"
"Could you be any more insensitive?" If this continues much longer, this will actually turn into a full-blown fight in the middle of my hospital room.
"Oh, come on! You're the last one to say that!" I've just woken up and this is all they're worried about. Why did I expect it to be different?

"Sorry," I tell Jinxx who seems to be as annoyed as I am. "This is all because of me," I tell him quietly, but he shakes his head while sitting down at the edge of my bed, both of us ignoring the two squabblers in the back.
"I have to apologize. We've all been on edge, you know. Haven't slept. The guys are losing their minds. They threw them out of the waiting room because they were fighting like that nonstop."
The guilt hits me like a brick and makes me feel sick.
"It's my fault," I mutter and sigh, my head rested in the far from comfortable white hospital pillows.
"Stop beating yourself up," my supposedly only real friend advises and tries to smile, but the dark rings under his eyes make it look anything but happy.
"I want to get out of here," I say weakly while letting my eyes wander around the room, but there isn't much to see.
My expensive health insurance I only have because everyone told me 'musicians need that when they're always on the road' enables me to have a private room, but the only things in here other than my bed, nightstand and beeping machines that are constantly checking my heartbeat via the weird stickers on my chest, my blood pressure via the cuff around my arm, who knows what via a small glowing thing on my finger and the fluids getting pumped into my body through the tube and the infusion needle are a small closet next to the door and a tall window with a net that reminds me of the one they had at the psych ward to keep people from jumping.

"You will! Just... not yet," Jinxx admits, a sad look on his face.
"I want to go home, man," I almost whine. I'm not dazed and confused anymore which is actually very positive, but the downside is that I can think and feel everything suicidal and the pain in my entire upper body, especially my stomach and nose because of this fucking tube I wish I could just rip out.
"Yeah... I don't think that will happen," he admits and my worst fears are being confirmed. I'm still weak and as tired and exhausted as someone who just came from one of those Iron Man marathon things, but not too weak to start panicking.
"What are you talking about?" It's hard to resist raising my voice, but I manage with my hands shaking and my heartbeat fastening, confusing the machines standing next to me.
"You almost died..." he slowly says, but I shake my head as fiercely as I can while feeling the way one probably feels after getting run over by a truck. "No, I didn't."
"You could have," he argues, but that doesn't count for me.
"People could die every day," I mention and Jinxx rolls his eyes.
"Not like this."
"I just collapsed, that's all," I defend my point, but I didn't expect anyone to agree with me.
"Yeah, because your body was close to shutting down all of your organs. Which kills you."
Why is everyone always being so dramatic? It's not that bad. I'm very alive.
"Overreacting," I comment and seem to make him angry with that.
Ash and Jake are still having a discussion, but I don't think it's still about me.
"Stop denying it. You have a fucking tube in your nose!"
"And it hurts," I agree tiredly.
"You're the one who doesn't eat."
"So it is my fault," I realize and scoff. Jinxx looks tired too.
"No one says that. You just... you should have been honest," he argues while running a hand through his long black hair while I wrinkle my forehead.
"And say what?" I question.
"That you're dying from anorexia!"
Why is he blowing this up? "I'm not!"
"Liar." He clenches his jaw and I shake my head. "I wasn't in a coma, for god's sakes."
"You could have been. Or worse," he obviously lies.
"Bullshit," I spit.
"Have you spoken to the doctor? Cause we have." I narrow my eyes.
"You're not even family!"
"Sue us! They said you could have had a heart attack! A fatal one!" he almost screams at me.
"I'm not even thirty!" I almost scream back.
"That's the whole point! Do you see how insane this is?" he tries to convince me, but there is no way.
"You're dramatizing," I say and he scoffs.
"Right."