These Demons

Chapter Forty-nine

As dreadful as the thought of the interview is, I'm almost glad when I receive the call because it's my reason to leave this bus. 

The person doing it appears to be moderately successful in the scene and has been running a blog about all kinds of stuff relating music and concerts for a few years which, so I've been told, was how the contact to my management was randomly made and created the opportunity for this conversation that I wish I could run for the hills from. 

The temperatures are freezing, so I put on three of the five winter jackets I brought which is only possible because they've become so baggy and looks ridiculous, but I won't survive a minute without these precautions. Januaries in the state of New York don't include as much snow as they do in my home state Ohio, but they're still a hundred degrees colder than they are in California, and even though Buffalo is on the shores of Lake Erie, I can't feel the usual warm effect nearby waters have on the temperatures in winter.

Right in front of our bus that's parked on the grand space surrounding the venue which will gladly make the transportation of the equipment and the queues before the show unproblematic to handle, the spokesperson is fumbling around with their notebook because despite it being the twenty-first century, I don't seem to be the only one who prefers paper when writing something down. 

With fingers that are probably already blue under the gloves, I light a cigarette and grab the interviewer's attention.
She turns to me, a friendly but false smile on her face, and holds out her hand to shake mine, but I shove my lighter and the pack of Marlboros back into my pocket instead. 

"Hey Andy. I'm Kayla," she greets me, completely ignoring my rude gesture, and I don't even try to return the smile.
"Hello," is all she gets from me before I take a deep drag. 
"It's great to finally get to meet you," she informs me, but I can't believe that and when I don't respond, she continues, visibly uncomfortable, but that doesn't shake her professional attitude one bit.
"I heard your first show in NYC blew some minds?"
It's not really a question and I don't really know how I'm supposed to answer something so stupid. "It did?"
"Well, so I've heard," she concedes and brushes a strand of hair out of her face, obviously a mechanism to hide her stress I'm causing, but I didn't agree with this and therefore won't try either. 
"How has Buffalo been so far?"
"This is the first time I'm leaving the bus," I admit in all honesty and that somehow makes her laugh.
It's a nice laugh, a melodic one, and it somehow makes her look like she's glowing.
Not that I'm good at guessing things, but she's probably in her early twenties and her skin is about ten tones darker than mine and she's obviously chubby, making me wonder whether I weigh less than she does and that thought is very satisfying. 

"Yeah, New York gets colder than California," she states the obvious.
"I noticed that," I agree and she chuckles again, but I don't entirely understand why.
My social skills have been going downhill.
"I brought a few questions for you," the girl tells me and I'm waiting for her to finish her sentence, but when she looks at me, I get the feeling she wants my approval first.
"Yeah, that's why we're here," I therefore mention and she quickly nods, making things more awkward with every second that passes by.

"So... How have things been since the release of your record?"
Horrible. Heartwrenching. Painful.
"Oh, everything's been working out really well," I bluntly lie to her because that's just who I've become. A liar.
"The critics for the album have been really positive."
At least that's what I was told because I didn't bother to read that stuff myself anymore.
"Many of the tour dates are already sold out too, aren't they?" Are they?
"I think so, yes," I just go along with it as I sit down on the stairs leading up to the front door of our bus because I'm so cold and shaky that I'm afraid I'll pass out right in this parking lot in front of this woman.
"That must be amazing for you," she assumes, but the truth couldn't be farther from that. I nod anyway.
"How have you been doing?" she suddenly questions casually and I wrinkle my forehead.
"Fine?" Where is Kayla girl going with this?