These Demons

Chapter Fifty-six

**I was treated in different places, but nowhere near California because I never lived there.
I do know someone who went to one of the most recommended, though, and we were closely in touch during her therapy. The video linked above belongs to that facility called Rosewood.
Its main location is in Santa Monica and from what I hear, it's extremely good and helped her greatly, and why I put this link here is because the video nicely describes how such programs work for patients. If you're interested in more information about such facilities, I have recommendations and so do sites such as eatingdisorderhope.com that link you to places such as the highly commended Renfrew centers. Take care, guys.**

Arriving at the LAX feels very strange. It hasn't been long since the last time I was here and yet everything seems different now that I just came out to the world about being sick, spent a few days in a hospital bed and will probably spend months at some treatment center.

Calling everyone I know to tell them about this was terrifying, but I had to make the step because I couldn't possibly just send a group text about something this big or, even worse, keep it from everyone who either worries or might spread rumors, and a whole bunch of people have offered moral support during my admission, but I feel like I need to do this for my own, so I gladly decline and gather all of my stuff before heading out to the center in the afternoon so I won't be late.

Naturally, I checked out the place that was recommended to me online after I'd been given the address because I obviously wouldn't just go somewhere without knowing what kind of place it is, and as much as I despised admitting it, it did make a good impression online.

Sure, it could still be a nightmare, but this is the twenty-first century and website designs matter, so I have to give it a try.

Because of my phenomenal health insurance, the headlines and the fact that I was assumedly close to dying, the highly acclaimed and amongst therapist and crazies very popular hospital was even willing to take me in without putting me on the waiting list first. They only required a bunch of documents, agreements and recommendations, and during that whole process, I felt like I was getting a Wallstreet job instead of a therapy program.

Sick people are big business and I will certainly bring in quite some money with everything they believe is wrong with me.

To give the residents, patients or whatever they're called a safe environment without distractions or triggers, the premises are located outside of town and in a remote area surrounded by nature and hiking highlights most are probably not allowed to enjoy because of their weight, but I can't deny how beautiful it looks. 

When I was told that California is the top state for eating disorder treatment centers nationwide, I didn't know what I was supposed to do with that information, let alone have a clue what exactly such treatment centers look like, but arriving here, I'm secretly impressed.

Right when one arrives and has parked their car in the large improvised parking area which is only an empty dusty space in front of the premises, a large wooden sign explains the place with its name and purpose and walking past without any barriers because there doesn't seem to be a point in securing any of this, I follow a short gravel path downhill enclosed by wild roses until I reach my actual point of destination after a few feet, and what lies ahead of me both fascinates and scares me because I can't tell what lies behind it.

Zipping my coat because Januaries in California are a joke compared to places with real seasons, but still far too cold for my weak body, I make my way to what I believe is the reception because it's the first building and the only one with several large steps fronting the entrance. Before I enter, I stop for a moment to take a look at the place I'll probably be stuck in for a while and attempt to figure out what happens behind these walls.