I sat outside Erebor's doors. I was saddened and tired. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I just couldn't imagine the rest of my fairly long life without them. Without... them... Without... my friends...
I buried my face into my hands. An emotional breakdown was knocking on my door, pestering me to open up. I wouldn't. No, that's not it - I couldn't. Why can't I cry? Why was I sitting here without a tearstained face?
I was numb from grief. I was numb from the battle. I was sore, but that was the least of my problems. My friends were dead, and nothing else mattered. Not my state, not who's mourning, not anything...
I hear the shuffling of footsteps. I don't look up. Whoever it was should leave me alone. They sat down.
"(Y/n)..."
It was Bilbo. I could risk a glance, right?
"Bilbo... What're you doing here?"
"I said I'd leave after the... the burial..."
I swallowed. He did too.
"I just don't want to believe it," I reply.
"Neither do I. Neither do I."
There's a silence. None of us break it. If we do, one of us will have a good sob on the other's shoulder, and my bet is that Bilbo will be the first. Balin calls us into the mountain. We leave our places and drag ourselves into a quiet chamber. There on stone beds lay our dear companions.
Gandalf gave a speech. We all listened quietly, respecting the dead that lay before us. After his talk, we all got up and paid our respects. I grasped each of their hands and rubbed my cheek against them, while apologising for not being able to save them.
***
Later that evening...
"All hail King Dáin!"
He was crowned king of the mountain. We all congratulated him, but he really didn't seem to care about it. He just lost his cousin, it was understandable. There was food and drink and songs.
Bilbo and I walked out with Balin. I decided to go with him to The Shire. We said our goodbyes and left.
***
We arrived at Hobbiton and after a lovely argument with a hobbit auctioneer we finally got into his almost-empty home. We set our things on the desk and sat in silence.
Bilbo suddenly looked up at me and said shocked," (y/n)! You're crying!"
