My friends
Justin's pov
I was talking to scooter "scooter she doesn't look healthy" i told him "yeah she's really thin" hailey says "I'm worried about her" i said "I'll call her doctor" he said i nodded i looked at hailey then jades boyfriend Cameron walks up "what's wrong with jade do you know" i asked "what that she's losing weight she has pain in her chest and she has rashes " he said
"Her lupus.....she needs to stop the tour and go to treatment again lupus if left untreated can kill you, you lose weight and your body shuts down she can't let this go she's weak and i can see it" i told him scooter came "i called he's coming now" he said
Back to me I faked a smile at everyone and hugged them "you are so thin are you okay are you eating" selena asked
"No Selena I'm not okay I'm so tired and weak i lost 20 pounds and being 120 pounds it's not good i am in pain physically and emotionally my whole body hurts i have rashes and my feet are swolen and to top if off i hurt justin
I'm still in love with him i hate myself knowing what I did to him and I will never forgive myself i am so depressed and look at my arms selena" i showed her my arms
"jade why all because of justin" she asked i nodded "forget justin he hurt me and you deserve so much better he's fucking around with hailey while you're practically killing yourself don't do this to yourself your better than this" she said "i can't do this anymore" i told her
The bus door opened and in came Alfredo and Justin and hailey "you get the fuck away from me get out, this is all your fault and you fucking brought hailey fuckwin who wants your attention to my fucking show don't you dare we haven't spoken to each other in 5 months and now you come around" i snapped at justin everyone left so it was just me and him he didn't say anything
"I cried for you everyday of my life ever since that night your birthday i cried myself to sleep every night i try to be strong but it hurts so much Justin you were my everything you are my everything I'm weak, lonely and I feel like dying i don't like waking up next to Cameron he's perfect but he's not you and im physically in pain..look at me" i lift my shirt and the sleeves then put them down "jade want did you do, oh my god why did you do this to yourself your better than this come on this is not the jade i know" he said and let go of my wrist
I loved you so much and i hate myself I'm brokenand in pain
i want to forget you and forget what we had but I can't I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you but I can't take it back i don't
know what to do i don't know what I'm doing it's all my fault we were so perfect and I hurt you, you trusted me, you gave me your heart and I broke it
and my chest hurts and I can't sleep i can't eat i feel ashamed of who I am my heart physically hurts my body is shutting down...I want to go to sleep and never wake up, I hurt you but you ruined my life I'm dying inside and no one knows because I've been hiding it i keep all my feelings inside justin i hate myself I'm tired, I'm not okay people ask if I'm okay and lie to them" i cried i walked into the bathroom
Justin's pov
she didn't come back for a couple minutes i went to check on her she was sobbing "Jade opened the door now" i demanded "Jade" i screamed i managed to get the door open
i saw her trying to open the oxycodone there pain pills "i can't get the cap oft" she yelled in tears i tried to take it from her "NNOOO STOP JUST LET ME DIE JUSTIN" she screamed fighting me for them "justin I'm in pain let me die" she said i finally took it from her i dropped it and the pills went everywhere she was crying so hard she looked at me and screamed "WHAT DID YOU DO" in my face through tears
I wrapped my arms around her below her shoulders and eventually i was kneeling down on the ground with her sitting in front of me I tried to calm her down she kept saying
"i wanna die" through tears she was shaking and crying and saying "i wanna die" "let me die" "Jade it's okay i promise I'm right here"
scooter was standing in the door way
i glaced at him scared
