First I made an appointment with a doctor to find out if I'm pregnant then after that I Googled abortion clinics
1 week later
i kept having weird dreams about babies and stuff I went to the doctors to confirm with Justin he kept bugging me about not going through with the abortion i took a blood test and it came back positive and then the doctor asks if we wanted an ultrasound to see the baby
I hesitated but I said sure I laid on the bed thing and lifted my shirt they put the ultrasound gel on my belly then the transducer probe thing on my belly i saw my baby "that's my baby" i said "our baby" justin corrected we looked at the screen a tear came down my face i wiped it i knew what I was planning on doing so it wasn't right to have justin look at him or her "Do you want pictures" she asked "yeah" he said i was hesitant i didn't want a picture knowing that
2 days later
I was at my parents house and everyone was there and by everyone I mean scooter and Yael and their family Miley, Gigi and Bella Hadid Selena, kendall and Kylie Jenner Khloe, Kourtney and kim Kardashian and their families jeremy and Pattie, my mom Emma jazymn and Jaxon were there too then me and
"can i have your attention everyone" justin says "what is he doing oh no" i thought "Jade's pregnant" he blurted my mouth dropped "oh my god congratulations guys I'm so happy for you" everyone was so happy and talking loudly amd stuff
"NO STOP EVERYTHING JUST STOP" i yelled everyone was quiet "i'm having an abortion i can't do it I'm sorry I'm 19 i can't believe justin even said anything "there is nothing that anyone can do or say to me to make me change my mind I'm sorry justin i can't" I snapped crying "yes you can, Jade why are you doing this" justin asks "justin stop" i yelled
...
I was in the abortion clinic waiting for the nurse or whatever to take it all away from me everything I've always wanted a precious baby away from me and they called me back i was sitting in the chair and the next thing I knew I had no baby
...
"How the hell could you do this to yourself your better than this this was baby too if you thought I was gonna break up with you when I found out you were wrong but now we're done "HOW THE HELL COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF YOUR BABY OUR BABY THAT WAS MY BABY TOO YOU SAW HIM OR HER ON THE ULTRASOUND YOU LET ME BELI EVE THAT WE WERE GONNA DO THIS TOGETHER I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND MY BABY DIED YOU KILLED YOUR BABY YOU SELFISH BITCH" justin screamed at me i Broke down in tears
...I jumped up from the night mare I'd been having i was so scared i stared crying "i want my baby I want to keep my baby" i cried i looked down my bump was getting a little bit bigger I'm about 5 weeks along i smiled i looked at the time 2 am I'M WEARING my tshirt and underwear i tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't i went downstairs and made some tea and drank some "my baby" i said smiled i rubbed it
... 9 am I took a shower and then changed into something loose so no one knows because I've been hiding it i went over to Justin's house and walked into the house "jade baby........ did you do it yet" he asked quietly "um......no justin and I'm not going to i can't do it i thought I could but I had that nightmare
last night and I was in the abortion clinic and they took me back then the next thing I knew I had no baby I want my baby.....our baby I can't kill my baby when I saw when we saw the ultrasound i knew i wasn't going to be able to do it knowing that there was a living breathing thing inside of me and then the dream i can't do it i want us too raise our baby together " i confessed he was smiling i hugged him tight
