Lost and Insecure: Janoskians Fan Fic

Chapter 22

 JAI’S POV

Jess woke up about 20 minutes after me; I let her sit for a minute before walking over to talk to her. ‘Jess, we need to talk.’ I said, frowning and thinking what to say. ‘Jess I’m sorry but we can’t be together.’ She started crying. ‘I’m so sorry but I can’t do this to you.’

‘Jai you don’t know what you’re saying!’ Jess shouted continuing to cry.

‘It’s not fair and I’m hurting you, this is all my fault.’ I added.

‘Jai please listen to me!’ She said screaming and grabbing my hand. ‘Jai I love you! Please you don’t know what you’re doing! Listen to me Jai!’

‘Jess it hurts me to see you like this. I hurt you; I couldn’t live with myself if I continued to hurt you.’

‘Jai, stop it please!’ She shouted, I stopped talking, she was sobbing, she took a deep breath. ‘Jai, I love you! I’ve been terrified to say it, but I do, Jai Brooks I love you with all my heart. You make everything better, you care and I don’t know what I’d do without you.’ She had calmed down, but her cheeks were tear stained.

‘Jess I love you too, and that’s exactly why I can’t be with you.’ I cringed at the thought of leaving her, but it was for the best. ‘Jai, none of this is your fault!’ She was yelling, I could tell she was frustrated and stressed.

‘If my fans are….’ Jess cut me off.

‘She wasn’t a fan! She was angry at me, me not you Jai me!’ She started crying again. ‘Hannah’ she said between sobs. ‘Jess what the hell do you mean by Hannah?’ I was so confused.

‘I got a call from Louis about a week ago, he told me that he was so sorry and that he’d broken up with Hannah. She did it.’ Jess was crying, not like I’d ever seen her before. She absolutely bawled her eyes out, she was hurting. I couldn’t believe someone had done this to her.

It took about an hour, but Jess calmed down. The doctors said she could put on clothes today, and then she could put on her back brace and go home. I called Luke and asked him to stop by her house and pick up her trackies and a top. I also asked him grab the stripy top, Jess really liked it, I thought it might cheer her up. Luke arrived about half an hour later, he had bought me a change of clothes too. I went and got changed; Luke stayed and chatted to Jess. I came back, Luke left the room, I gave Jess a hand getting changed. I grabbed out Luke’s jumped, ‘Thanks,’ she said smiling, ‘I swear that just made my day!’ I helped her lie down again, Luke walked in, followed by the doctor. He had the back brace in his hand, Jess frowned, I don’t think she wanted to put it on, but she had to. The doctor strapped it on; Jess then put her hair up and put on the neck brace. She was really sad, I could feel it, but I had no idea what to say or do to help her. A nurse walked in with a wheelchair, Jess really wasn’t impressed now, she welled up. It was only just setting in now, what it actually meant she was going to have to put up with. I helped Jess into the wheelchair. She flashed me a quick smile, I handed her the bear the boys had bought, along with the posters I took off the wall. She held all of our stuff and I wheeled her to the waiting room.

Her dad was waiting there for us; he gave Jess a hug and shook my hand. ‘So we’ll see you tomorrow to begin physical therapy?’

‘Yeah,’ Jess said choking on her tears. The doctor shot her a sympathetic glance.

‘We’ll book you in for 4?’The nurse asked.

‘Yep, I’ll see you then,’ Jess replied.

I wheeled her out; we followed her dad to his car. I helped her get into her dad’s car, it was hard to watch her get upset like that, the accident had taken away the majority of her independence, and it was killing her. Her dad had a Jeep, so the chair fitted in the boot. I sat in the back seat next to Jess, her dad turned up the radio and they both sung along to all of the songs, it was cute. I never got to share something like that with my dad, I had never known him.

I helped Jess out of the car while her dad got her chair out of the back. She tried to stand up on her own, but she couldn’t quite do it, she leaned on my shoulder, ‘thanks.’ I smiled and lowered her into the chair; I wheeled her into her room. She wheeled herself over to her bed she tried to get herself onto the bed, but she couldn’t. Jess started crying, ‘Babe its okay,’ I said walking to her side.

‘But it’s not!’ She sobbed. ‘I can’t do anything! I’m useless I can’t even get into bed.’ She laughed at herself, ‘I’m pathetic,’ she said.

‘Jess you’re not pathetic!’ I snapped. ‘You’re so brave! And it will happen; I’ll be here every step of the way. The only pathetic person is Hannah, and don’t you dare to think otherwise.’ She smiled, the tears continued to roll down her cheeks. ‘Shall we try this again?’ I said giving her my hand, I helped her into bed. She sat with her back leaning against the wall. I sat next to her and she grabbed my hand. ‘I love you Jai, thanks for everything.’ I put my arm around her and kissed her on the forehead. ‘Will you come to PT (physical therapy) with me?’ Jess asked.

‘Of course I will Jess. What time do you want me to meet you?’

‘Come over after school?’

‘Sure,’ I replied with a smile.

‘I’d better get home,’ I said standing up.

‘Wait,’ Jess said grabbing my hand, ‘Will you help me? I need to get changed.’

‘Yeah, what draw do you keep your pyjamas in?’

‘The second draw.’ Jess exclaimed, I rummaged through the draw and pulled out her cup cake pyjamas.

‘Will these do?’ I asked holding them up.

‘Perfect,’ Jess said with a smile. I started to undo to back brace, I had to undo pretty much all of it, Jess didn’t have that much movement yet. She winced as I pulled it off completely, ‘Sore?’ I asked, she nodded in reply, biting her lip. I helped her get changed as quickly as I could so I could get the brace back on, she was in pain. I picked it up and started strapping it back on, Jess sighed once it was all back on. She smiled and I gave her a big hug and a kiss, ‘See you tomorrow beautiful.’ She smiled.

‘Thanks Jai,’ she swivelled to lie down and I turned off the light. I shut the door and walked into the living room, Joel was sitting on the couch. ‘Thanks for everything mate.’ He said signalling me to take a seat.

‘It’s no problem, she’s going to sleep now, it’s been a hard day.’ I added.

‘Yeah, I’ll be getting home tomorrow in time to take Jess to PT,’ Joel said.

‘Jess invited me to come along, is it okay if I do it with her?’ I asked, hoping I would get a yes.

‘That would be great, I think that’s exactly what she needs. Do you need a lift home? He asked.

‘My brother is..’ my phone buzzed, ‘my brother is outside.’ I said picking up my things.

‘Have a good night Jai, see you tomorrow,’ Joel said waving.

‘Bye,’ I called waving back shutting their front door. I hoped in the car, ‘Hey Beau could we go to the video shop first?’I asked checking my wallet for some money.

‘Sure, but why?’ he asked.

‘I thought I’d drop them over at Jess’s tomorrow, that way she has something to do.’

‘Sounds like a great idea.’ We got to the video shop; I hired five movies, a whole heap of random ones. Then I bought some popcorn, a packet of pods, m’n’ms and some snakes. I paid for them and we drove home.