"Friends"

Chapter Thirty

Chapter 30

**Dawn's Point of View**

~

I sat there hiding my lips in my mouth as Jake just stared me as I couldn't even look at him...

"What?" He asked shocked, but I huffed my  breath and turned away from him completely, my back to him.

"I know, I know, go ahead. Make fun of me!" I turned him angrily, but back down at the lake. He just watched me, listening. "I'm a sixteen year old girl whose about to turn seventeen in a few weeks who hasn't even had her first kiss....rather that date a single boy..." I slumped down. I felt him try to look around me leaned forward to see my face, but I didn't want him to, as I kept my eyes closed so I wouldn't cry. "I'm such a loser."

Jake didn't say anything and finally I looked at him as he looked sympathetic or surprised, or probably even both, and finally I shouted, "Well would you stop looking at me like that!?"

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" Jake laughed blinking out of it, his hands out reaching for mine, but when I didn't smile back leaned away from him a little so he wouldn't touch me, he let out a breath of air getting serious. "It's just....damn Kit-Kat," he looked out to the lake covering his mouth and back at me. "I didn't know any of this."

"Well duh, what girl wants to go around telling everyone she's never had her first kiss or never dated?" I was quick to almost cutting him off. We stared at each other as I knew then I shouldn't have been yelling at him, and I hunched over, putting my elbows on my knees, resting my head in my hands as I stared out to the water. "I'm sorry..." I whispered. Jake sat up looking at me and I shook my head my eyes watery.

"I know I shouldn't be yelling at you and I know I shouldn't be crying either, but it's overwhelming. If Asher found out any of this he'd agree I'm some loser too!" I told myself with my hands in front of me. I thought about it and I just quickly covered my face with my hands and I said unrecognizably, "Maybe I'm just not ready for this." After a short pause I heard Jake move closer to me, and place his hand on my shoulder.

"Dawn you're overreacting and you're not a loser," he told me sincerely yet getting angry at me.

"Oh, it's easy for you to say," I told him with folded eyebrows. "You're a popular boy dating the hottest girl in our junior class, probably even the whole school! And besides since eight grade year, I've never NOT seen you with a girl by your side," I tell him. I shake my head. "You don't know how it feels."

"Actually I do," he tells me sternly. I turn to him again.

"How, how? Tell me something please Jake Lander, 'cause obviously I'm missing a piece to this jigsaw puzzle," I had a mean look on my face.

"Okay," Jake rolled his eyes getting even closer to me. "Maybe I've always been in the loop of dating but that doesn't mean it's something I want to be known for. Girls look at me as, some, hot laid back guy who doesn't give a shit about anything if it doesn't help me in football, but that doesn't mean I like it!" He tells me. I widen my eyes at him.

"Maybe I wish I could just play my guitar and write music," he continues. "But I can't. Girls don't want that. They want an athletic long haired boy and Celeste just so happen to be the first to get it," he tells me. This time he is the one looking out the lake contemplating and I am looking at him, as he's leaned forward, his chin resting on his hands that's covering his mouth.

"I just want to be loved for me...." he whispers to himself. I'm watching him and I feel a small breeze in the air and I then lean forward as he is, and we're both looking out the lake.

"Well Jake if you say that I have question," I squint my eyes.

He doesn't say anything as a response.

"Why are you dating Celeste?"

"I don't know," he answers quickly and sits up.

"Well then why do you like her??" I'm getting mad at him remembering how she mercilessly cheated on him last night.

"I don't know! Cause it's Celeste Hollister!" He looks at me just the same. "Why do you like Asher Payne?"

"You know why I like Asher Payne!" I shout at him angrily.

"No, I really don't Dawn," he says earnestly, with narrow eyes. "You're overreacting over a guy that I think you could do better on."

"And you're dating a girl I think that you're too good for!" I yell back without thinking.

"Maybe I'm just confused!" He says looking in my eyes getting closer.

"Confused about what? About what Jake," I squint my eyes at him a little.

"I don't know! About what I want!"

"What you want! What do you want??" I ask him. "Cause I know what I want!"

"What is that? What is it??" He asked me furiously.

"A kiss! I want my very first-" but without warning I feel this pressure on my lips and I look to see Jake is kissing.

Jake....Lander...is actually...kissing me.

I can't help but to close my eyes and move my lips to the rhythm of his and he places his hand on my face.

After a few lost seconds we depart and I look at his lips and and he's looking at mine and I when I move my eyes up to his he still looks at my lips and after an awkward silence, our faces still by each other, his hand on my chin I whisper,

"Uh...Jake....?" we're both breathing heavily and he swallows whispering back,

"Yeah...?" And I finally ask glancing at his lips again....

"What was that for...?" He looks at my eyes and he shrugs as I can't even look at him....looking down and he says back,

"It was...your next lesson..." he tells me as if this was suppose to happen. I look at him, biting my bottom lip.

"A lesson...?" I question. He nods with a small smile and I can't help but feel good about it.

"Yeah....um....how to kiss a guy..." he's more confident in his talk. Honestly it was wrong for me to think such, but Jake wasn't a bad kisser and I wouldn't mind doing it again....with him.

"Well..." I had to say looking down and around and back at him. "How'd I do?" Jake smiled a bit and he leaned closer again and whispered,

"Eh...You could use more practice."

~