Is this how you get a dog?

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Unless my male Giant Schnauzer just gave birth, how the hell did this get to my second story personal kitchen? I walk in there to cook, I feel sick so I wanted to do something to put my mind at ease and stop the headache. Walk on there and it's just sitting there. It looks at me, wags it's little tail, just sits there and looks up at me. Licks my leg a few times. But, what? It was trying to eat the pudding I made last night for no reason and left on the counter.

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