Terrifyingly strange thoughts of the cool type

10 Minutes

My alarm clock didn't go off and I had a doctor's appointment at 12:30. My mother wakes me up saying we have twenty minutes. I jump out of bed even though I was up until 4am, run, jump in the shower, finished. Get out, dry hair with towel, blow dry hair completely dry, brush hair, finished. Brush my teeth, put some ointment and lotion on my face, some powder to cover any blemishes (yes men do that too, I'm very conscious about my looks and image), finished. I choose my clothing, get dressed, I hate my glasses so f*ck them, run down stairs, gives two shits over chefs and makes myself some instant coffee, sit down and scroll through the news on my phone and bid Hikaru good morning over text because he said it an hour earlier, finished. I finally look at the clock, it's 11:05. Not only had my mother lied about how much time I had and ended up giving me an adrenaline rush, but I completed everything 10 minutes. I forgot to mention I spent one of my minutes trying to get my little sister out of bed, she told me to stop because she was up until 1 because she felt sick. I looked at her and didn't have the heart to one up her by saying I was up into 2:30 flirting and then filling out permit papers and her adoption papers my father had no time for until 4.

I'm so sleep deprived, my I add, that I forgot the word for dog. I asked my little sister (when I was ready and chilling and she was walking by) if she had fed the "things" as I tried to find the words to describe it she ask "the guinea pigs?" And I said no. At this time my mother started listening. Suddenly I start muttering some gibberish under my breath then say "Dogs! The word is dogs." My siblings and mother look at me flabbergasted and utterly confuse because English is my first and only language. I am learning french, but I can assure you that I was NOT speaking that. I'm slightly terrified of my subconsciousness now.