An ordinary girl

Epilogue

"It will be tough and hard but you need to be more tougher and stronger than the situation to overcome it. Be ordinary. Be you and get it, all of it.

Life teaches us lot but love teaches as more than we want to learn. Sometimes its harsh and sometimes its soft and tender but whatever the lesson is it's something that is forever and teaches the value of our ownself. That's the biggest thing you see that when a love story ends, self love starts. Things are painful and complicated too. There are times when you want to give up and want to go back to the person whom you have loved with all your might but that's where you need to be strong and realise that something's are for our own benefit and we need to priortize ourself, we need to place ourself before everyone else no matter how deep your love is and no matter how hard it is to live without them. We need to make decisions which are good for us and which will benefit us at the end and at the end you have to be satisfied with yourself and your decision.

That's exactly what I have understood in so many days. After the whole incident Vansh never called me but one day he realised that he loves me and wants me back but that was too late for him because I have already made my mind. When he was apologizing he told me that he is sorry but then one thing that made me more strong was the fact that he said "I'm sorry Sanaya that I didn't stop when you asked me to but I don't regret any other thing neither my behavior nor my actions." That was enough to make me more strong and determined. He called and still he keeps calling but what's the need of holding on something which was never meant to be yours. I would have felt bad if I haven't given my best in the relation but I did each and everything to make him happy and to keep him happy but still he was never able to realize my value and was never able to respect me and that's why I choose to leave.

I still feel that loneliness but this loneliness is much better than the one I felt while I was dating him. When he calls, his name still bring back the memories and the same feeling. I am not able to delete his number, neither am I able to delete the photos from my phone but I know one day I will be able to do that too. What hurts me the most is that still his name has the ability to make me cry and that's what makes me realize that I was in love with the pain he has given me. Some people still tell me to forgive him but the point is that no one is me and the pain was mine and no else has ever felt it, so the decision will ne mine too. I know he will be hard to forget but I am trying to love myself in the darkest hours and trying to make myself happy because with time I have realized it doesn't matter what the society or people say, the one who believe me and trust me will always be by my side and the one who doesn't, will never understand it no matter how hard I try.

Vansh has given me lessons for life. He taught me to never trust anyone just by their words, he taught me to not give my full efforts on something which is not meant to be mine, he taught me to love myself and most importantly he taught me who truly is mine and who isn't. He taught me to love myself and to prioritize myself. He taught me what love is and what pain is. He taught me the value of life and the way to lead it.

There is just one regret that I will always have that when I wasn't in love with him, he made me his life but when I fell in love with him he treated me as nothing. That's the question that is still not answered, the reasons are still unknown to me. I don't know whether it was fake or not and now I really don't want to find it out. All I want is to move on and to forgive him but forgiving doesn't mean that I will take him back. I don't hate him and I can never do that but the respect which I had for him is long lost though he will always hold my heart forever and I will always love him with each and every broken promises. That's what he has done to me, somehow and somewhere he has made me strong and made me believe in myself more and the fact that I don't need anyone to make me happy. I am still in love with him and I will always be. There is this corner in my heart that will forever be his but missing him and loving him doesn't mean that I will take him back and let go of the liitle respect I have. I am strong and stronger than he or anyone else think. Afterall it's not the past that has made me strong, it is the pain that has made me determined and the scar's are the proof that I will survive now what may come.