A Walk In The Park

13 - I'm Done

I hear Calum say, "Damn. You even make your bed?"

I know he's just picking on me. "Yeah. I guess you don't?"

"Meh. It just depends on who's coming over." There's that grin again.

I want to ask him if I can visit and mess up his bed. But there's not enough alcohol in the world to give me that much courage.

Calum lets Harley out and runs back down the stairs with him and I hear them go out the back door. I decide to get ready for bed while they're out there, so I change into a t-shirt and gym shorts and brush my teeth. My lack of coordination during these activities makes me realize I may be more intoxicated than I had realized. I laugh at myself in the mirror before exiting the bathroom. Then I meet Calum and Harley in the hall on my way back to my room.

"Good to see you're still alive," Calum teases.

I attempt to elbow him, but he dodges it and laughs at me when it throws me off balance. At least I didn't fall this time. He follows me into my room and casually lays across my bed with Harley. Okay, then.

I'm standing there staring at him like a goon, but I realize he seems more relaxed right now than he has all night. It must be Harley. I sit down on the opposite side of Harley, and watch the interaction between the two. They're all snuggled up and I'm insanely jealous - of a dog. Harley is on his back with his head on Calum's shoulder, hoping for belly rubs, to which Calum obliges. My mind starts to wander and I think how I'd give anything for this to be my life. How amazing would it be to chill with Calum and Harley every night before bed? But that'll never happen.

Calum pulls me out of my self-pity stouper. "MJ?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you quit school before?"

Oh my gosh. I dont want to talk about this right now.

I lie back on the bed and rub Harley's soft ear, stalling. How can I explain it without exposing myself? "It's nothing. Just a bad relationship got me down for a while. But it's all good now."

To my surprise, Calum seems to accept that explanation. He probably realizes I don't want to talk about it right now. "I'm sorry, man. Relationships can suck the life out of you sometimes. Speaking of which, I take it you weren't interested in Megan?"

"That would be correct."

"Seriously, though. Let me set you up with my sister. She's the best. I wouldn't suggest it to just anyone, ya know."

I sit up, stalling again. "I'm sure if she's anything like you, she's wonderful. But I don't really have time to commit to anything right now." Plus, she doesn't have a penis.

"Okay then. If you want something more casual, let's go out again next Friday, and I'll ask my friend Josie to come, too. She's really hot, but not an attention seeker like Megan. She's a little sassy, but in a good way..."

I interrupt him before he says anything else. I need to nip this in the bud. I just don't know how. "Yeah, I'd like to go. But not under the pretenses of hooking up with someone. I appreciate your concern about my single status, but it's not necessary. Seriously. I'm not interested."

Calum sits up and looks at me like I've lost my mind. "What? Why not? You could easily have your pick of any woman you want."

I laugh out loud. "I highly doubt that." Even if I wasn't gay, that wouldn't be true.

Suddenly, Calum's face lights up with recognition and I think he's figured it out. My heart starts pounding and I stop breathing.

"Wait. You're not interested because there's already someone else you're interested in! Right?"

"Well... you're not wrong, exactly." That's only a fraction of the problem. If he only knew.

"Well then what's the problem? Does she know?"

I bury my face in my hands and shake my head in frustration. I need to tell him because he's not going to drop this. "Nope."

"Then what are you waiting on? You're a good looking, fun guy, MJ. You're like... perfect, really. I'm sure she wouldn't turn you down if you asked her out."

At this point, I have no more comebacks. So I just look at him.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. You look fed up with me." He laughs, knowing that he's right. "I'm sorry, okay. It's your life. But I'm just trying to help you out. If you're not going to ask this chick out, then just let me talk to Josie. It can't hurt to conveniently have you both there. The worst that could happen is you - "

"Calum."

"Okay, fine. Forget Josie I know a lot of other girls who would love to go out with you, I swear. Here, I'll show you photos. You can take your pick."

He pulls his phone out of his back pocket and I take it from him and put it on the nightstand, out of his reach.

"No, Cal! Thanks, but no thanks. It would be a waste of time."

"What the fuck? You scared of girls or something?" He chuckles at himself, and I can't help but join in. Close, Calum, but no cookie. "Wait that's it, isn't it? You're a fucking virgin, aren't you?! Holy shit. Well, you don't have to -"

That's it, I'm done. I'm laughing my ass off because he's so worked up about it. It's hilarious. But I have to tell him.

"No, asshole," I push his shoulder. I really want to push him back on the bed and have my way with him. Maybe that would explain it to him. "I don't know why you're so worried about my love life, or lack of it. But if you're really that concerned, it may help for you to know..." The words are right there, but my throat closes. But I have to do this.

Calum's waiting on me to spit it out. I notice that his smile has disappeared and he looks concerned. I think he knows now.

I take a deep breath and say it as confidently as I can. "I'm gay, Calum."