A Walk In The Park

20 - Skills

I struggled with the decision of whether to stay or go home. In the end, my need to know where that conversation was going won. I thought if I hung around then Calum would maybe tell me what he was going to say earlier. Plus, I had nothing at all to do at home now that school is over. So here I am six hours later, and I still know nothing.

I've tried being productive and making myself useful instead of sitting around staring at Calum all day. Though, I'm sure I did some of that, too. Besides having an extra long workout of my own, and playing outside with Harley, I've taken phone calls, tidied up, and even watched the sweetest little blonde headed toddler while her mommy and daddy worked out together. That was the highlight of my day, to be honest. I really really really hope to have a family with the love of my life one day. It's what I want more than anything else in this world, right next to Calum.

There are currently only two clients present at the moment, and they should be finishing up soon, because it's almost closing time. I'm lying supine on a weight bench, with my earbuds in and faint music playing while I'm reading an e-book, when I sense someone's presence right behind my head. I lock my phone, not wanting Calum to see any of the cheesy romance dialog on the screen. Dont judge me.

Instead of getting up, I crank my head back in an awkward position. And I lock eyes with the second most gorgeous man I've ever seen in the flesh. I quickly sit up and compose myself, suddenly self-conscious for no reason.

"Reading anything good?" Ashton asks.

Where the hell did he come from?

I open my mouth to answer "no," but before any sound comes out, he says, "You still haven't taken me up on my invitation."

"Oh, well, school. But that's over, so..." Ohmygawd I can't even communicate.

"MJ," Calum calls to me from the doorway of his office. "Can I see you for a minute?" My hero.

Oh, shit. Called to the office. Am I going to be punished for being a bad boy? I actually laugh out loud quietly at myself. I've really got to get myself under control.

As though he had heard my thoughts, Ashton asks, "Tsk tsk. Have you been a bad boy, MJ?" Then the motherfucker winks at me. I'm dead.

I can't help but give him a mischievous grin. He knows I'm gay. There's nothing to hide. So, as I walk away, I say, "Not yet." Dang. What has gotten into me?

"What are you two smiling about?" Calum asks with a raised eyebrow, looking back at Ashton on the far end of the gym before shutting the door. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was jealous of the brief interaction I'd just had.

I lean against the wall, crossing my arms, and playfully roll my eyes. "Dont worry, Dad. I'm not going to get involved with Mr. Womanizing Man-eater. Gosh."

Calum finds this extremely amusing and I enjoy watching his eyes crinkle and him laughing until he snorts. He's precious.

When he's finished, he apologizes for the overkill. "Sorry. That was just hilarious for some reason. But on a serious note, you're a grown man, MJ, and just because I don't think he'd be good for you, it doesn't necessarily mean that you wouldn't be good for him. If that makes sense. Maybe you could change him."

I hold my hands up in objection. "Hell no. No, thanks. Not to compare apples to oranges, but I thought I could change Jason, and look where that got me."

"Oh, yeah. But, look at you now."

I hesitate before saying it, but dammit, I'm going to say it. "I know, right? Crazy about someone who I'll never have." I laugh so that he knows there are no hard feelings. But I'll always be sad about it.

Calum laughs, too, and looks at the floor while rubbing the back of his neck. He's clearly uncomfortable and, despite what he said earlier, I feel like he's about to say something that I'm not going to like.

"Yeah, about that. MJ, you know that, as your friend, I want nothing more than for you to be happy. I don't want to hurt you."

"Mmkay. What are you getting at? How could you hurt me if we're not, and won't be, anything more than friends? Look, you don't have to spell it out for me. I'm well aware that my feelings will never be reciprocated. I've known that since the beginning. I'm just happy that we can still be friends after you finding out all my dirty little secrets."

Calum gives me a genuine smile, but shakes his head.

"What now?"

"Nothing! I just - . MJ, you're adorable, you know that?"

Calum just called me adorable. I don't know how to react to that. So I don't.

"When did you know?"

"Know what? That I was attracted to you?"

Calum nods. We're both blushing and I feel the nervous sweats coming on again. I shift my weight, but maintain eye contact. Even if it's useless, I want Calum to know that this isn't just some little crush.

"That's easy. The first time I laid eyes on you in the park. Months before we met. But that was just physical attraction. After we started talking, it quickly became more than that. More than just friendship, to me. But, Calum, seriously, we don't ever have to talk about this again. I'm cool if you are." He doesn't answer, and the serious look on his face makes me feel weird. So, in an effort to make him laugh, I reciprocate the question. "When did you know?" I try to act serious about it, though I'm laughing profusely inside.

Calum's dark eyes get big and he freezes for what seems like 10 seconds. This isn't at all the reaction I was expecting. He seems horrified that I'd ask him such a thing, which makes me feel bad. "Dude, I'm just kidding."

Calum lets out a huge breath that he must've been holding all that time. I didn't mean to get him so torn up. "Oh. Yeah, I know. So, um, yeah, everything's cool. I just wanted to, um, I mean, I need to... shit. I know what I want to say, but I don't know how to say it. I'm not good with words." He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

This awakens my dirty mind and I think, You don't have to use words with me, love. I bet you're good at other things. I want to experience his skills so badly I can taste it. And why does it always come down to this: to me wanting to taste Calum? I feel myself growing hard yet again, and this time it's not just a little. I'm in these flimsy gym shorts and there's no way he's not going to notice.

"Welp, when you think of how to say it, shoot me a text or something. I'm going to get my dog and go home. Tell Ashton bye for me." I hurry to the door and Calum stops me, lightly holding onto my arm.

"Wait." I turn my head to look at him. "I can give you a ride, you know."

Um, that's not the kind of ride I want or need right now, but thanks. Someone please send help. "That's okay. It'll be good for Harley to walk. Yeah. But thanks anyway." I just need to get out of here because my situation isn't getting any better.

"Okay. But, I don't get a hug today?"

Is he fucking serious right now? Yes, he is. I can't turn him down. He squeezes me to him tightly, and for much longer than I anticipated. But I'll hold onto him as long as he'll let me, boner or no boner. He's never hugged me like this before. Usually, it's just a friendly quick squeeze and pat on the back and he's done. But this time his hands are sprawled on on my mid back and one slides down lower and he presses our lower torsos even closer. There's no way he can't tell what's going on in my nether regions with this kind of contact. But he doesn't acknowledge it. Nor does he shy away from it, which only makes matters worse.

After a few heavenly, yet cringy seconds, he slowly pulls away and tells me, "Thanks for being so open with me. Goodnight, MJ. Be careful going home."

I don't say a word, mostly because I can't, but also because my head is spinning a little bit and I need to get out of here and get some fresh air. So I make my exit to retrieve Harley and slip out the back gate rather than walking back through the gym. I'm feeling far too emotional right now to look at Calum again. If a simple hug did this to me, I don't know that I could handle much more. I guess it's a good thing he's not interested.