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with the noise of the keys falling onto the tiled floor, the movements on the couch stopped, and the moans diminished into thin air.
"what the fuck joshua, why'd you stop?" the girl asked, her voice was airy from lack of breath. chest out in display before she locked eyes with tyler.
she let out a quick shrill and pulled a pillow to cover herself up, hitting the blond in the arm while watching what may happen.
tyler couldn't move. he was frozen in his spot with water building up at his tear ducts, eyes widened and sad as he stared at joshua with nothing but hurt taking over all of his features. not once did he expect hearing or seeing josh with somebody else would make him this emotional. he thought he was used to at least hearing the sounds, but he didn't prepare himself for the day he'd catch it in action.
and wow did it hurt.
"why?" he whispered, his voice wavering from how emotional he had been.
it took josh a few seconds to register that the brunet had spoken before he responded, his tone a mixture of frustration and words slightly slurred but not by much.
"why, what?" he asked, not exactly clueless but playing it off as he was.
tyler shook his head and brought a hand up to wipe beneath his eyes. his pain slowly diminishing and becoming anger instead. all these years he sat here, watching josh sleep with other people left and right. he let the older man walk all over him, use him, trick him into bed by the words 'i love you' just to forget anything every happened. he did this to himself, but he couldn't help but feel angry at joshua because he was the one who made him fall in love.
"i hate you joshua william dun. i really fucking hate you," he whispered. "all these years you hurt me! you toyed with my feelings, you used me, and you threw me away! you knew of my feelings for you since high school and i know you do because i saw you standing there when i was confessing to melanie and bambam in the hallway yet you pretended that nothing every happened and you used that to your advantage!" he said calmly, not bothering to raise his voice and disturb the neighbors, plus it wasn't worth it.
josh couldn't do anything but watch the brunet and feel like complete utter shit.
"you took my fucking virginity and then left me for your stupid ex girlfriend who cheated on you and you called me a liar when i tried telling you, but guess what? i stayed by your fucking side, because i loved you and you fucking ruined me!" tyler added on, his peripheral vision picking up the girl throwing on her clothes and leaving the living room to probably collect her things and hopefully leave.
"tyler, i'm sorry." josh whispered. it was his turn to cry.
tears gathered in his own eyes as he watched the one person who stayed by him slowly breakdown all because of the actions he chose to do.
"sorry is not gonna cut it anymore joshua. you had your chance for years now, and you've done nothing." the small brunet finished before walking into his room and packing an old book bag full of clothes and another filled with jihoon's stuff.
the brunet sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, making a mental note to wash his hands and softly called out for the hairless cat. he let out a sad smile that broke just as fast as it came when he spotted the sphynx, and pulled him into his chest. he grabbed his phone from his pocket and quickly texted the newest number added to his contact.
he left the room with both bags on his arms and ignored looking at the living room area, or the female who was urgently trying to leave.
"no, no, no, tyler where are you going?" josh panicked, his hands running through his hair as he tugged on some of the strands.
tyler paused and softly kissed the kittens head before turning around to face the boy he had loved for years. "i-i need to stay somewhere to clear my head... it's not permanent, but i have to leave for a bit." he said lowly. he sniffled while slowly walking towards the other who's eyes were now rimmed red and no, not from his previous drinking or from drugs, but from the tears that he shed while the small boy had been talking.
"we both need to think. we both need some time apart." he let a small small creep onto his face while his eyes began to tear up once more.
"i'm sorry, i really am." another tear fell from josh's left eye.
"i know." tyler whispered and without hesitation he leaned forward to softly kiss his cheek.
with one more sad smile the brunet turned around to walk out the front door. his hand instantly covering his mouth as he left. he felt the cold press of jihoon's nose against his cheek before he pressed the kitten closer to his chest.
joshua may have done something that had hurt him, but tyler didn't have it in him to be viciously mean.
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unedited. is it just me or are we crying right now? —shay xx
