Do you ever just feel like there's a mosh pit in your head? Like there's not enough room for all your thoughts? And sometimes it just feels like your thoughts hurt so much that you just can't stand it? You're losing it? But then on an alternate plane, being alone just feels too lonely. It's as hard to describe as it is to overcome. I didn't know until today that I had an issue delving into a crowded room. For the past few years I thought I was fine being surrounded by people, at least considering how often I'm on a stage. But I'm sitting alone in a crowded cafe right now and my throat hurts and my heart is racing a little bit and I can't stop shaking my leg. It's amazing the things you don't know about yourself. I'm sad right now, and I don't know why. My melancholy is an enigma, and I don't like it.
Can you relate? Is it normal to be abnormal? I think so. I've never liked the idea of blending into a crowd. Being unique has always seemed like an idealistic goal for me. But to the people who want to blend, for the fear that standing out is a negative. I cannot empathize with you more, but I want you to take reading this as a sign that being different is the best thing you can be, for yourself. It may give you a sense of unease, but embracing it, working it, loving it can lead to the greatest self esteem boost, so that maybe ~unlike me currently~ you'll be able to sit in a cafe by yourself, surrounded by people and pay no mind. And you'll develop the confidence to take on the world.
Warmest Regards,
Your Gracious Author
