transgender → klance

thirty-nine

   We walked back home from the beach & see that Finn & Amu are cuddling on the our long L couch. How cute!
  "Hey Keith & Lance!" Finn waved at us when he saw us.
  "Hey!"
  "Hi!"
  "Where were you guys?" Amu yawned & rubbed her eyes.
  "We took little Blue & Red on a small walk."
  "You took a cat on a walk?"
  "Yeah.. what about it?"
  ".. Nothing?"
  "Okay then." Lance & I sat aside them on the couch. Blue jumped onto my lap & Red cuddled in Lance's arms. We begin to watch Beyond to annoy Lance because he thinks "he is so cringy in the first season". Honey, you aren't!
  "OH MY LORD! NOT THIS PART! THIS PART IS WHEN I HAD TO PUNCH THE FUCK OUT OF HIM! I HATE THIS PART! THE FAKE BLOOD GOT EVERYWHERE & I AM UGLY IN THAT PART! AHHH NOOOO!" Lance covered his eyes with a pillow.
  "You are amazing at acting! Calm down, it's apart of the show. You did great punching the shit of that Despicable Me villain." Amulet laughed and threw a pillow at him.
"... FUCK!" Amulet started to scream and held onto her stomach.
"What happened? What happened!" Finn jumped up and started freaking out.
"CRAMPS & FUCKING PAUN IN MY FUCKING UTERUS. FUCKK!" Amulet cried in pain. SHIT.
"Finn! Hurry! Help your girlfriend with some water & warm water for her tummy!" Lance started to sassy clap & made Finn run over to the kitchen. I started to cradle my baby cousin in my arms. I started to massage on her tummy & her cramps could weaken.
  "Here! Here! I got snacks as well!!" Finn handed her some chocolate & water. He put the warm blanket on her tummy. Amulet laid on my lap while Finn massage her hair. I could tell Lance got jealous that I paid attention to Amu, but he understands. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders while Amulet was whining that she wanted only me. What a dork, she have to spend time why her boyfriend, oh my lord. After a while Amulet & Finn fell asleep, we took pictures because F A M I L Y. Lance & I went upstairs with our fur babies & fell asleep.

Lately, I haven't been.. nice to others? Like at work, I been snapping so easily. It's probably that I was stressing over the wedding planning and my family shit.
People think I'm over my mom's death...
No-No, I'm not.. I didn't even start going over the fact my mother is dead! Could you get over the fact that your mother raised you since birth & died because of you! My mother took care of me for my whole life until three fucking years ago! I really can't over the fucking my mother because she-she's.. dead.. because of me.
  Was it a plan? Did Keller fucking planned this to murder Mom & I!?
I-I.. should have been dead. I should have! I HAVE! MY MOM SHOULD BE LIVING A GOOD LIFE WITHOUT ME! I WAS THE ONLY REASON FROM HOLDING HER BACK FROM HER TRUE DREAMS! MY MOM HAD TO DEAL WITH ME WHO I LOOK LIKE JUST MY FUCKING FATHER!
  MY MOM SHOULD HAVE LEFT ME! I AM JUST USELESS! I WAS IN THE WAY OF HER FUCKING TRUE FUTURE!

   "M-Mom, if you are listening to me..
Hi-Hi mom.. I hope you are having a good time with your parents. Tell them that I said hi.. haha.. I-I-I-I miss you a lot. I wish you were there during when I told our family that Lance & I were engaged. I wish you were there during my-my wedding. I wish you are right next to me comforting me. I really need you. Please-Please.. your brother & Tiffany left Amulet with me. I have too many on my mind lately. Amulet is pregnant & I can't take care of her 24/7. Lance been very busy with his acting job. I need you to help me, but-but I know you're not here physically anymore. I wish you do because I can't do this alone. I wish you are still alive with me & smiling like always. I wish you had a better life.
  So much happened while you were gone...
I love you so much.. Why did you had to go so early? You could have stayed until Lance & I have your grandkids.. They will love you as much I do. I hope you still love me even I ended your life. I am so sorry.. I will make you proud. I promise. I will make my children as happy I was when I was younger with you. I love you. Please-Please.. could you still love me as me? Even I am not.. Katherine. Even I am not a female. Even I am Keller's son technically. Even I ended your life. Even I am gay & transgender. Even.. I am Keith, not your Katherine. I'm sorry, mom.."
   Tears rained down my cheeks. I opened my eyes for the first time. I'm-I'm at Mom's grave..
How did I get here?

[  Kathy Gyeong
Mother of Keith Kogane.
A powerful woman.
  1975 — 2014 ]

I am really at her grave. I grabbed my phone and turned it on....
It's 3:45 A.M. Lance, Amulet & Finn called me so many times. Shit.
I sighed and turned off my phone. I looked at the beautiful view from Mom's grave. The beautiful lights from the city & a bit of light from the sunrise. Mom really has a nice view of the city. I laid down aside her grave and looked up at the stars. So many stars.. it's so beautiful. I never really appreciate the stars.. until then. Every star is unique & there are billions of billions of stars. There's this star that caught my eye. It's one of the smallest stars in the whole bunch, but what made it special is it's very shiny. I naturally made a connection to it somehow. It's probably very weak, but it shines the most out of all of the stars.

"THERE THE FUCK YOU ARE!" I heard Lance's voice & him running to me.
"OH MY GOD!" Amulet ran out of the car & tried to follow Lance.
"AMULET! AMULET! YOU SHOULDN'T BE RUNNING!" Finn grabbed her arm back.
"FUCK OFF! I NEED TO SEE IF MY BIG BRO IS OKAY!" Amulet tried to break free. I sighed and sat up.
"KOGANE! YOU-YOU STUPID KOGANE!" Lance jumped onto me and bear-hugged me. I felt his tears quickly go down his cheeks.
"Wh-Why are you here?" I softly asked. I guess, I was pretty tired, but didn't feel tired.
"I AM HERE BECAUSE YOU LEFT THE FUCKING HOUSE WITHOUT ME KNOWING OR ANYONE KNOWING!" Lance cried.
"What do you mean?"
"WHAT! YOU LEFT OUT OF NOWHERE!" Lance hugged me tighter.
"I dont know what you're saying.."
"You don't remember?!"
"No."
"Fuck that! You're safe!" We kissed and I hugged him back.
"Why are you so protective of me leaving the house?" I asked after a short period of time.
"Because the last time you did, you got fucking— nevermind." We stood up, Lance grabbed my arm and we started to walk to the car.
"What do you mean 'nevermind'?" I let go of his arm and crossed my arms.
"I said nevermind." He grabbed my arm once again.
"Tell me now."
"I SAID NEVERMIND!"
"What did you actually mean?!"
"YOU GOT FUCKING RAPED LAST TIME!"
He-he had to talk about that! That fucking asshole!
"I KNOW I DID! I GOT FUCKING RAPED BEFORE! BUT NOW I'M BETTER! WELL, NOT ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU FUCKING MENTIONED IT!" We started to yell at each other.
"BECAUSE YOU FUCKING MADE ME MENTIONED IT. YOU PROBABLY FUCKING REALLY LIKED IT!" I could tell Lance is as much overwhelmed as me.
"I-I.. FUCK YOU LANCE! I HATE YOU! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE! I BEEN SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE LATELY! I NEED SOME SPACE! I NEED TO BREATHE FOR ONCE! FUCK YOU LANCE!.......I REGRET MARRYING YOU!" I yelled at him. He froze. He started to cry even more. He walked to the car with Finn & Amulet in the car & drove away. I watched the car drive down the mountain. I marched back to the grave and laid back down.

"Keith.. you really said that to your newly wed?"

What? Am I hallucinating?! I fucking heard my mom's voice.

  "Let me cut this short. Give Lance some space & talk it out. What you & him said is horrible. You & him are both at fault. Talk it out. Love you, Red."

  Mom! Wait what! I heard my mom's voice! Mom! Come back! Shit. I messed up. Real bad.

Fuck.

———

Cliffhanger! Oh shit! I know right! Btw SUPER busy with my school shit, so not updating for a while! Sorry! I will be updating on my Instagram @homjac & @jacspamz ! I also have youtube channels! It's in my bio! Thank you for reading! Bye!

QOTD: Would you want them to stay together? If yes, how will they make it up? If no, why?

AOTD: i dont know.. it is right after the wedd— heheh hi I'm gay like Keith :3