Twisted {Jacob Black}

Explanation

The frown on my face wasn't voluntary, but I just couldn't stop it. Confusion hit me square in the face, and I stared into his eyes to try and figure out what he was saying. Jacob wasn't angry about me leaving? Well then what the hell was going on?

"You're going to have to explain this to me. I'm lost." I frowned, tilting my head up at him as he glanced back out to the water, which sprayed us both a little bit whenever it lapped against the rocks.

"I don't know if I CAN explain," Jacob muttered, mirroring the frown on my face with his. I reached to touch his arm, and he flinched back. I waited, and waited, until he finally opened his mouth to speak again. "This wolf thing.. I only phased weeks ago, Emma. I don't really understand what's happening." He told me, and I internally screamed at myself for how my heart jumped at the sound of my name leaving his lips. Ugh, damn I hated that he could do that now. I didn't know why, or how, but the boy seemed to have complete control over me.

"So... It's bound to be new, J." I said gently, moving my hair from my face when the wind blew it out of place. "It was like that for them all, you know. They all struggled. Embry told me about it. But.. That's why you should go to Sam, he can help. I don't know much, but I doubt that blocking it all out will help."

He shook his head quickly, so violently that I thought he'd fall over from dizziness. "No, no no no." Jake chanted, putting his hands behind his head and beginning to pace up and down the beach. I stepped back a little, still frowning at him. "You're wrong. This is different. I don't think Sam can help with... This." He flinched. "It's controlling my life, Emma."

My heart broke a little, because despite how much of a nervous child he'd been, Jake had been strong. Nothing had ever caused the sad look on his face that I was seeing now. He was mad at me for some reason, but I didn't care. I didn't care that I was mad at HIM, because when he turned to face me I just wanted to hug him as hard as I could until all of that pain went away. "Something else is going on with you, isn't it? It's not just the wolf stuff.."

There was that vigorous head shaking again. "IT IS! It IS the wolf stuff, Emma!" Jacob hissed at me, and I worked hard not to jump back at the icy tone in his voice. "You just have to stay away from me, okay? It's not going to turn out well." He frowned.

"W-what? But you said you weren't mad at me! God dammit Jacob, quit speaking so cryptically and tell me what the hell is going on!" I snapped, throwing my hands up.

He closed his eyes for a minute, and moved to sit down on the rock where I had just been moments before. He put his head in his hands, and I walked over to sit in front of him on the sand, putting my hand on his arm. He flinched, but I didn't move, letting the burning feel of his skin rush up my arm like fire. It was the best feeling, and for some reason, didn't even compare at all to how it was to touch the others. Each of them were the same ridiculous temperature, but Jacob was different. I didn't want to ever move my hand.

"I don't know how to explain it to you, because I don't know what's happening. I've tried to figure it out, Em, I really have. But.. I don't get it." He whispered, sounding like a vulnerable little boy. I sighed, and waited, because his eyes glazed over almost as if he was seeing something in his mind when he started to speak again. "Before you got here.. I'd phased a couple weeks before, and I hated it. I didn't feel like me, I felt like the monster was taking over. We're supposed to destroy the evil, Emma, not BE it, but all I could think about was just how strange I felt. I didn't feel like Jacob." He paused, and I could swore I felt the crack inside my chest at how his voice broke. I could've predicted the little stutter that started to appear next. "B-but... I-it was NOTHING like how I felt when I bumped into you.." Jacob breathed, and I felt tears pool in my eyes. I had caused him pain?

"Explain that to me, Jake. Cmon," I coaxed, tightening my grip on his arm slightly in a little squeeze. "Just keep talking."

He took in a deep breath, and I waited patiently until he started to speak again. "We're supposed to destroy the evil, I just said that. The vampires. That's why we're drawn to them, I guess you could say. Whenever we're near those bloodsucking demons, I can sense it, and every nerve in my body is telling me to reach out and grab it. I was... Freaked by that, but I understood it. I'm supposed to feel like that, because I have to destroy them. And then.. And then I bumped into you, and I felt the same thing. I was drawn to you." Jacobs voice broke and I saw the tears in his eyes just as he wiped them away quickly.

I felt like someone had just grabbed my lungs and squeezed all the air out of them so that I couldn't breathe. I let out a strange sound, one that I was pretty sure sounded like I was being strangled, but I didn't speak. Did that mean that Jacob wanted to kill me? Me? Well, then now I could understand his anger. I wasn't an enemy, he was supposed to want to protect me. "You.. You wanted to kill me.." I whispered.

"I think so. It felt different, I guess, but I still wanted to do the same things. I didn't want to let you out of my sight, or let you get away from me." Jake mumbled, looking embarrassed. At this point, I considered that maybe staying in the car had been my best option. "It was LIKE a hunting instinct, i guess. But more powerful."

My mind was racing. None of this made any sense. Jacob wanted to kill me? But.. I didn't feel like I was in any danger, not at all. I still wanted to hug him, I still felt my heart skip a beat whenever he locked eyes with me, and I still wanted to help him. None of that made sense.

He was staring at me, in that soul searching way that made me think he knew exactly what confusion I was dealing with. "Doesn't make sense, does it? Because.. I don't want to kill you, Emma. The attraction to you is like how I feel around vampires, how I want to be near you, but... I don't want to kill you. I want..." He trailed off, and slowly placed his hand against mine. Palm to palm, like our hands mirrored each other. I almost choked, because it felt like I'd been electrocuted. And for the first time since I'd gotten there, that heart stopping grin covered Jacobs face, and he met my eyes. Sadness covered his face as quickly as that grin had. "Doesn't make sense, does it?" He whispered.

I didn't answer. I still couldn't breathe. I just stared at how our hands were touching, his huge hand against mine, how the different in our skin colours looked so drastic now. It looked.. Right. And now I really was confused.

When I did finally manage to speak, I met his eyes, slowly taking in a deep breath. "I don't think you want to hurt me, Jacob. I think I know what this is. I think you're drawn to me in a different way, you just don't understand it. I think I DO understand it." I whispered, and watched his eyes widen in childish curiosity.

As I spoke the next few words, I bit down hard on my bottom lip. "I think you imprinted."