Twisted {Jacob Black}

Nerves

The drive to the reservation was silent for the first part, possibly because of the way my stomach was turning constantly with nerves. I hated that, but it was just one of my things. Whenever I was nervous, I felt physically sick. I couldn't exactly pinpoint WHY I was so 'scared' to confront Jacob, but I'd put it down to a few different reasons.
First: he'd just about shattered my heart into many many pieces the last time I'd saw him, because you know, that's bound to put a damper on a friendship.
Second: the wolf side of him intimidated me more than a little, and to hear that he was so out of control right now basically scared the shit out of me. Embry had explained that there was no way to tell which side of Jacob you'd be faced with when talking to him, and he could be happy one second and then that glazed look would return to his face, and he'd be all moody again. That broke my heart. I knew Jacobs father was struggling more than a little these days, with being so restricted, and that Jake was helping out with basically everything. As if he didn't have enough to deal with, and now something else was going on. I was angry, but I was suppressing my inner bitch. He was still only seventeen, and he didn't deserve whatever was happening.

Embry seemed to notice my anxiousness from where he sat in the drivers seat, one hand planted firmly on the wheel as he drove. He glanced over at me and I could feel his chocolate irises burning into me for a second, before he reached to turn on the stereo. Awful, repetitive and loud music filled the car, and all of a sudden he drew in a long breath, rolling down the windows and bursting into singing along to the tune. His singing was the opposite of melodious. It was terrible, too loud, and out of tune, but it caused the loudest of laughter to erupt from me. The wind hit my face and we recieved a disgusted look from a driver behind us, but I couldn't help myself. Embry was still damn singing, and I stuck my head out the window, easily bursting into the repetitive chorus of the awful tune. And for that next half of the drive, I wasn't nervous, I was just me. We screamed at the top of our lungs to whatever song came on, deafened by a combination of the violent wind coming through the windows, the loud music, and our own terrible attempt at singing.

When Embry swerved the car over to the side outside of Jacobs place and lowered the volume on the stereo, I almost didn't want to leave the car. But, I was reminded of the mission I was on to be a good friend, and - although reluctantly - I swung my legs over the seat and jumped out, only after swiftly kissing Embry on the cheek and thanking him. He cast me a concerned look and I shook him off, forcing a smile onto my face for his sake and in the hope of silencing his worries, because I strode up the little ramp to Jacobs front door. "Calm the fuck down," I muttered to myself, shaking my head as I knocked hard on the front door for a few times.

As the door swung open to reveal the ridiculously well-built figure of my {former?} best friend, I almost committed the childish act of turning around to running right back to the car to hide. Almost. But no, I stood my ground and looked him square in the eyes. Neither of us showed any emotion, and it stung a little when he didn't instantly fall to his knees and beg for my forgiveness. Shut up, Emma, you're not that special.

"Walk with me." The three simple words that left my lips sounded so confident, and I mentally pumped a fist into the air. At least I SEEMED like I wasn't about to burst into tears, even if I was sure Jacob could see straight through me.

"Uh.. No, thanks. I-I.. I have to stay in, sorry." His fumbling for words sounded so ridiculously childish in his deep voice that I almost rolled my eyes. But, that little stutter just made my heart leap, and I found myself trying to remember how to speak for a second.

"It wasn't a question." I almost snapped, and stuffed my hands into my pockets, turning and walking down the ramp towards the pathway. I didn't have to turn around to know he was striding to catch me. Phew. At least he actually came, because if he'd slammed the door in my face id have been stuck for my next plan.

We walked in silence for a few minutes, and I could see him shifting nervously beside me. He would walk around a metre away from me, and I wasn't sure why. It was like he was AFRAID to touch me, which didn't make sense. So, when we finally reached the beach, I sat down on a rock, and looked up at him, expecting him to sit too. He didn't.

I sighed mentally, but took my chance. "The guys say you're refusing to phase." I started, biting my lip. Again, I tried to look confident. The bold approach was always a risk with Jacob, because he could get defensive pretty quickly.

His eyes flickered to the water almost as if he wanted to look anywhere but at me, but I didn't push him. He looked like he was actually going to reply, at least. "I.. Haven't felt like it." Jacob mumbled.

"You used to be able to talk to me." I said in a soft voice, and he heard the break in my confident front just as much as I did. Brown eyes locked with mine, almost in panic that I seemed any less than okay, and that confused me. YOU made me sad, asshole. His eyes left mine just as quickly as he seemed to realise that, and I sighed, feeling like I could breathe again.

"Things change. I don't think we should hang out anymore." Jacob said in a huffy voice, and I took a deep breath. I could see straight through him. Hell, the boy was lying to HIMSELF. I was pretty sure he'd have fallen to his knees and cried if I'd have just agreed with that and left him alone. He was mentally asking for help, and I wasn't sure he even knew that.

"Cut the act, Jake. You can either sit down and talk now, or I'll force it out of you. Cmon, it's just me, and I'm not going anywhere.." I said gently, and when he didn't move, I got up and walked over. I ended up half a metre away from him, and I tried to hide my hurt when he flinched back a little. I didn't touch him, because I needed to focus, and for some reason everything inside of me was telling me to just grab hold of him. I fought against it. "I'm SORRY if you're still angry that I left. I-i don't know how to apologise, Jacob." I wasn't proud of how my voice broke a little as I spoke. He heard it, I know he did. "I didn't have a choice," I told him, my voice a mere whisper. "B-but I don't understand how you could still be so upset.."

I trailed off when his head snapped up and those deep brown eyes met mine. I suppressed a gasp at his glare. "You think this is about THAT?"