When you're a 700-year old creature, attempting to fit in with the modern lifestyle may be a bit of a drag. Perhaps you'll make new friends, find a wonderful career, a nice place to settle down in, or manifest true love with someone. Maybe you'll be...
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A tall man with chunky biceps coughed into the crease of his elbow. "Ah, and a pleasant afternoon to you too, Friedman." Came the flamboyant tease of another man, his white hair short. "Pffft. I don't have time for you, Eris. I'm sick as fuck right now." "Oh, I know. But you're a Getchuglz. You'll survive. You always do." "Well, what does Master Quilke have on the list for us to do today?" The muscular man, his head bald and veiny, clenched his meteor-sized fists. "Hm. Let's see," Eris Bathory put a finger to his lip, swaying his hips a tad. "if my memory decides to help or hinder me here. Mhmhmhm. Ah, yes! Lord Quilke happily told us to wait around! Said we have... guests... coming to Polidoria. The others, the more centrist types, will fight them off like the buggy intruders they are. Once that's done, we'll take over this kingdom." "Good enough for me. Hmph! Those dumb councilmen. They don't know who's been creeping around right underneath their noses." "Right you are, my friend." Eris looked down, his white bangs frosting the front of his vision. The glow of a red circle bellowed and collapsed beneath them. Dark stairs had curled and shelved themselves into a darkly stoned ground. All light seemed abolished from this crusty encampment. Beneath Eris's feet, his blue-suede shoes had coughed up a mucous-like echo. The dimly grey stone around them vibrated and traveled around the air, changing places to an unheard tempo. Shifting all about them, the stone spun around them, never once threatening to draw too close. Books, pages unopened, fluttered about with blood and etchings bound to their spines. "Hmph. By the way, Eris, how's your leg, ever since the former lord totally dug into it?" "That traitor, Gwyllomay, tore it off cleanly. Luckily, I was able to regrow a new one thanks to Halanay at the Apothecary." "Indeed. Dr. Halanay is a good vampyre. Indiscriminately assists everyone!" Friedman Getchuglz sighed. "Everyone... even the humans." "Certainly. Dr. H is my favorite among the faces that have come in and out of that shop." Eris crossed his arms over his white blazer. "Now, how have you been with turning humans into drudges? That's a staple activity among the Getchuglz, isn't it?" Friedman sneezed into his elbow. "I'll make you a staple." Eris shrugged his shoulders, his arms going up over his white blazer, in order to slightly reveal his blue undershirt. "Easy there, old sport. We're on the same sides, aren't we?" "Hmph. Quilke promised I could keep on attacking humans in my spare time, so I have no real reason to resist him." "Ah, but what if our... coups... fails? You could get eternally hung for treason, you naughty boy!" Eris wagged his right finger. "Highly unlikely. We have you on our side, after all. Eris Bathory, you're an infamous one, you are. Your name... was one of the first names to spark a family in Polidoria." Friedman spoke with a low gruff. "Hmmm. Friedman, you're too kind." "We have quite a number of the royal families on our team." "That we do. Ah, Quilke even took Princess Yinara to the Pillar Gardens." "Huh? Why did he do that?" Friedman's arm tensed up. "Yinara has been, supposedly, having fainting spells and a blurry memory. She's a good human to have on our side. She's totally gullible and devoid of any personal accountability." "Hmph. Using a damn amnesiac as a strawman to carry out your disasters! How low. We oughtta just strong-arm our rebellion already." "Yeah, that was part of the plan. Yinara managed to even steal Lord Elizara's weapon!" "Wh- Whoa. That's right! I heard about that. Though, it was a mission conducted more by Sue and Haguin." "Sue Parable and Haguin Yachukuzo." "Hmph. Their last names don't matter. They aren't in the 'Top Five' like we are." "Oh, have some sodding manners, would you? Big oaf! They're quite the beautiful couple." "They're..." Friedman's gaze followed up to the dark ceiling of the library. "... an item?" Eris' head bobbed up and down. "Youuuuuu betcha!" "No shit?" "No shit." Eris smirked, drawing his hand up to his chest. Friedman swallowed. "Well, I'd like to pay them a visit." "Ah-Ah-Ah! We have a lot of things we must do first. This is only to be our free-time for lounging around. If you have anything you'd like to do, other than sit in the Librodorum, then you can spend it doing what you've been assigned." Friedman bit his bottom lip. "I see. I'll continue lounging then. Why not pick up some books while we're here?" "All the books, which retell the history of our world. The true history. Forbidden knowledge. Quilke's favorite kind of knowle-" "Alright, cool. I'll try and find a dirty-mag of some kind, then." Friedman flexed his biceps and coughed into his fist. "That's 'forbidden' enough, right?" Eris flipped his white fringe up. "I'm sorry, what is a 'dirty-mag'?" "You... don't know what a-" "I didn't ask for any judgement there, tough guy." "I- I- I wasn't... judging. At least, not particularly. What, you've never read Erotix, before?" "Oh, 'particularly'? Tsk. What an adverb."
"Hmph. Got a problem with my choice of adverbs?" "Well- Well! Maybe, I do." "Wow. Eris Bathory, you have quite the temperament." "Indeed. Indeed, I do." "Royal boys like yourself need a good loosening up every now and then, don't ya?" Friedman coughed into his hands, flashing his eyebrows over Eris's thin waist. "Vampyres like us don't discriminate on sex, remember? If there's a hole, there's a way." "Oh, good heavens!" Eris stepped back, the tips of his shoes bouncing on the granite-colored floor. "Please, no homo-eroticism with me... if you would be so kind! I've had enough of that shit with Gwyllomay!"
