all my love ∣ daniel seavey

fifteen.

jocelyn woke up around three a.m to her phone ringing.

without bothering to see who it was, she accepted the call.

"hello?"

"jocelyn? where are you?" her father asks.

"hasn't mom told you?"

"what?"

"hasn't mother told you." she corrects herself.

he's always made her call them mother and father. why? she didn't know, but then again, she didn't understand lots of things about her "parents".

"i'm in california." she admits once she doesn't hear a reply.

"good. stay there." he says, hanging up after.  

jocelyn felt her heart break. she knew that she didn't have a chance of them caring, of them wanting her to come back.

you're nothing but a disappointment, all you've ever been is a disappointment.

her mothers words repeated themselves in her head, over and over. and on top of that, so did her fathers.

"i'm in california."

"good. stay there."

her heart broke even more if that was even possible. she still had hope that one of them would call, worried about where she was, if something happened to her and beg her to come back.

but they didn't care, they never did.

suddenly, all her memories of ever being alone crowded her mind. all the times she felt lonely, all the times her parents ignored her, when her friends left her.

the amount of unhappiness she felt came back. and she felt overwhelmed.

she started to feel light headed as she sat up, and began to sweat.

as her body tensed up, she began shaking. it felt like she was dreaming, none of this felt real.

she got up and soon fell to her floor, she felt like she was spinning, like she was losing control.

her breathing quickened and tears made their way from her eyes quickly.

"i'm sorry. i tried my best- i did everything i could. i didn't want to be a disappointment." she said as if her parents were right in front of her.

she ran her hands through her hair, pulling them. then hugged her knees to her chest, crying as if she had emotions from years bottled up inside her.

soon, it became harder to breathe.

"i need to hear his voice. i need him." she spoke to herself, grabbing her phone from the small dresser beside her bed.

she quickly unlocked her phone, her hands shaking and barley being able to see due to the tears in her eyes.

she called daniel.