Right or Wrong? {complete}

Monster

** If you slid right at the photo there is a video about Natasha which I thought was perfect for this. I'm going to try include a video and picture from now on. Tell me what you think. **

Natasha (POV)
That morning when I roll out of bed I do what I have been dreading the most. I log onto my computer and hack every S.H.I.E.L.D system. I hack systems until I find what I'm looking for. My files. Everything I've ever done.

Why does S.H.I.E.L.D have them? When Clint brought me in no one trusted me for a perfectly good reason. Fury gave every agent an order to get all the information they can on me.

It's not the first time I have looked at them. I've looked too many times to count. So I should be used to it....right?

But the second I open the folder all the pain and terrible memories come back. And the word "monster" settles into my brain. This time I decide not to read through them instead I plug in my flash drive and download the files onto it. Once they've loaded I pop out the drive and place it in a drawer.

I head to the kitchen, ignoring my thoughts. I have decided not to go to the gym today in fear of seeing Steve. I don't want to tell him.
I don't want to see him look at me with fear in his eyes like so many have. I don't want to know what he'll think of me, to see the horror in his eyes. But I know he deserves to know. I brew a cup of coffee and drink it while watching tv, Trying to distract myself.

But it's no use. I down my cup and hop in the shower. The hot water feels great. It rinses away all the sweat and dirt form the previous day. I wish I could wash away my past as well. But it's something that will haunt me till my dying day. I dry off and get dressed and grab the drive, then I leave to go find Rogers.

I find him exactly where I thought he'd be: in his room on a bench by the window, sketching. He looks up and smiles when he sees me, his blonde hair shinning from the sunlight pouring in from the window. I can't return the look. "I need to talk to you. Is now a good time?" I query while his face falls in disappointment, already sensing my mood.
"Sure." He says as he puts down his notepad and walks over to me. He is about to kiss me but before our lips meet I hold the flash drive up between us. "What is that?" He questions as he pulls back.

"Everything you need to know." I say, still holding the drive up. "About what?" He asks curiously. "About me." I explain, trying to not show how scared I am. "Nat." He begins but I cut him off "No don't give me that look Steve. You deserve to know. You need to know." I affirm in a stern and serious tone hoping he would make this easier and just take the drive. He doesn't.

"No I don't Natasha." He replies bluntly.
I can't take it anymore. I can't stand here and look at him knowing what I've done. I've run out of patience.

"Damn it Rogers just take the flash drive!" I yell at him. "No Nat." He says it in a more serious way now. "Why not!" I hiss at him. "Because if you want to tell me something about you or your past you can tell me. But unless you do it's one of my business." He says in a calm way. "Yes it is! I'm a monster. The sooner you accept that the better. Now take it!" I can't help but get mad at him as all my emotions explode.

He needs to know. I don't want him to know so that he can pity me for what they did to me. In fact in more scared about what I did. I ant him to know because he has been through so much. People have lied and cheated him. And I want to be one of the people to be straight forward with him. I don't want to lie. Not to him.

"Natasha what you are, what you were it wasn't you. It was what they made you into. You had no control over it. It's not your fault. It's theirs." There they were. The words I've dreamt of hearing. The words I begged someone would say to me. And no one ever has until now. He continues on "Nat I know you. The real you. The person that you control and no one else. You're not a monster. They used you Nat and I'm so sorry for that." Once again I am rendered speechless by Captain Rogers. He pulls me against his chest and I stay put. When he kisses my forehead I let the drive fall to the floor. "I'm so sorry." I whisper against his chest but he simply shakes his head and pulls me closer.

That night as I toss and turn in my bed sleepless I get back on my computer. I plug the drive in once more. And I read everything all over again. Now is when I let the tears fall. The ones that I've held in for too long.

**** I know I know it's so cheesy and I'm sorry. I promise it won't be this bad for ever. Oh and also I know I've done a lot about Natasha's pain but I promise Steve will get his turn. Please leave any criticism in the comments. Thank you ❤️Oh and thank you for the amazing 210 reads****