Right or Wrong? {complete}

Impossible?

*****Im Really sorry for the late update. I really ran out of ideas so sorry if this chapter is bad.******

Natasha (POV)
Let me get this straight. I can't have kids. I don't know what they did to me but hell, it's working so far. I thought I had come to terms with it. But ever since Fury had me tell Bruce one of my secrets everything has coke tumbling down again.

Although, I'll admit I'm very talented at hiding it. I'm not saying I'm a monster because I can't have kids. No, I'm saying that the things that aren't there hurt the most. Even if you never wanted them. I never used to want them that is. Why bring another person into a world full of pain, danger, and hate?

But lately with Steve, all I want to do is give him what he deserves. Happiness. That's what I want for him. A life outside of work. I don't want him to live with the pain like I do. "What're you thinking about?" It's Bucky who is currently sitting on the couch next to me. "Why me?" I ask bluntly. Not feeling pity, just simply curious.
He just looks at me, clearly confused. So I go on "Why would Steve choose me?" I inquire. "Did something happen?" He asks curiously, concern lacing his words.

"Yeah I became a cold blooded killer. That's what happened." I add sarcastically, my eyes flicking away. "Nat everyone knows you are much more than that. Especially Steve." Bucky resides. "I know. I'm sorry. I don't want pity but I can't give Steve what he wants." I look to the floor, suddenly ashamed. "And what exactly is that?" He nags.

I look back up at him "Isn't it the all American life. White House, a dog, some kids, and a stay at home wife?" Bucky laughs at this. "That's a quite the opposite of it." Now it's my turn to look confused. "Natasha sure, Steve used to want to settle down one day. But that's as before all of this. Before Captain America.
And before you. Right now I think he is happy just as he is." He smiles sincerely, lightly squeezing my hand. His fingers are cold against mine, I wonder briefly is he ever gets lonely.

"I want to give him more. I want to be that person." I explain truthfully. "At the moment all you can do is be there for him. And you are doing a great job so far." Bucky informs.

I wonder if he remembers. That we used to work together. That we used to be close. He saved me once. Back when I was in the Red room.
But he has don't said anything to indicate he does remember. I don't think he ever will. There are some things that are better forgotten.

"What about kids? I can't... what they did... I'm pretty sure he wants them." I manage to get out. Bucky pulls me into a sudden warm hug. "You are giving him all he ever wanted." He says softly. Not knowing how much that means to me.

*

Later that night I'm sitting on Steve and I's bed. Watching him get ready for the night. "I'm sorry." I accidentally say out loud. He drops the shirt he is about to put on and kneels in front of me. "For what?" He asks putting a hand on my cheek. "For not being able to give you the good life. The best life." I say as I place my hand atop of his. "Nat-" he is about to say something but I cut him off. "Do you want kids?" I ask abruptly, dying to know once and for all. I need to know.

He drops his hand. "Honestly?" He looks into my eyes and rests his arms on my thighs. "I expect no less from you." I give a small laugh. "I know all the odds are against us, sometimes it feels like the whole universe is against us. But is still have hope for us. I mean look how far we have made it." He says as he grabs my hands. "I don't think it's possible." I've told him once before. On one of the nights he came into me room because of the nightmares. I told him what they did. That they kept me awake for it.

But I remind him anyways. "We never know. Besides I'm not really your normal guy."

I smile at his sincere hopefulness. "But despite everything that has happened, I'm happy. I like this. I like us. I love us. And I wouldn't have it any other way." He wraps his arms around my waist and lays his head on my legs. "Me neither." I mumble, feeling bits of my confidence in us restored.

*

In the morning I wake to the usual smell of breakfast. "What's today's special?" I ask, walking into the small kitchen. "Pancakes." Steve smiles as he looks up at me.

I walk over and start making coffee. "Yum." I steal a bit of batter. I'm about to go in for more but he catches my wrist. "If you keep eating the batter we won't have anything to cook." He reasons and then swipes the batter off of my finger and dabs it on my nose. I smile and then kiss him. Getting batter on his nose and face too.

He stops what he is doing and wraps his arms around me. Probably getting flour all over his shirt that I'm wearing. He holds me tightly as we giggle like children.
Life wouldn't be too bad if I could spend every morning like this.

Our moment is interrupted by the speaker com. "Miss Romanoff, director Fury would like to see you in his office immediately." I sigh. "Looks like I'll have to take a rain check on those pancakes." I say, escaping his grip.
He frowns a little but let's me go. I quickly throw some clothes and makeup on and head out. "You better save me some!" I yell before closing the door.

*

"Pleas sit down Romanoff." Fury says when I walk into his office. "What's this about?" I ask innocently, hesitantly seating myself.
"We have a mission for you." He clasps his hands together in his lap, the way that says this is 'all business'. "Where and when?" I ask, assuming it would be like other mission.

I was wrong and I wasn't prepared for what he said next. "Russia."
Even that one word makes my stomach twist. I feel like I need to empty my stomach but then I remember that nothing is in it.

Fury smiles but I sense I won't like what is coming next.

"We don't know exactly how long you will be there. Should be at least a year. Again that is at minimum and not considering every threat. There is an organization we need you to find and wipe out." He keeps talking but I'm still too focused on "a year at minimum." To even hear him. Thoughts and ideas scatter in my mind. Everything seems to be moving too quickly.
I'm snapped out of my thoughts by his last words. "You leave in two weeks."

***** I just wanted to say thank you everyone for the incredible 1K reads. I never even thought anyone would read my book and I'm so happy to have so many readers. You all are amazing! Thank you.****