Wait For It {Phil × Reader}

24- Confessions

  ~A few weeks later~

Y/n pov

  I was at the Starbucks Phil told me to go to. I sat at a table in the back, sipping a pumpkin spice latte. I was there for a while, starting to think he blew me off. I looked down at my phone. One hour and forty five minutes. I sighed getting ready to get up and go when I heard the door bells jingle. I looked up hopefully, seeing Phil walk through the doors.

  He smiled at me, walking over and hugging me in his envelope of warmth. "Hey baby." he whispered. "Sorry im late. Dan was being a pain." he placed a kiss on my head. He let me go and sat down.

  "Don't you want a drink?" he shook his head.

  "Im not thirsty." he mouthed something after he said that but I couldn't understand what. He looked out the window. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you." he looked back over to me.

  "Okay. What did you want to talk to me about?"

  He looked down at his hands. "Hold on." he got up and went to the counter. He ordered a drink then came back, sipping slowly on it.

  "I thought you weren't thirsty." I said, a small smirk present.

  "Ya. Still not. Its for dramatic effect."

  "Ahhh, okay. Okay."

  "To start this conversation out i need to ask you a question." I nodded signaling him to keep talking. "You love me right? And nothing I say will make you want to leave?"

  "Well.. Depends on what you say." I saw a worried glaze in his eyes. "Like if you told me you were cheating i would want to leave, thinking you didn't love me."

 "Never." he barley whispered. He looked down at his cup, spinning it. "So, would I be able to tell you about something and what a friend believes it might mean?" 

  I nodded, a little unsure of where it was going.

  "I want to tell you about my nightmare. You remember that?" I nodded again. "I dont know where to start."

  "You can think about how to word it. Ill be right here." he looked at me then back down at his cup.

  "We were in a flat, one I didn't recognize. And I blew out a candle and you told me I did it wrong." I smiled. That sounded like something that would actually happen. "We playfully argued. I went and sat next to you and you laid down, resting your head on my lap." I could see his hands shaking a little.

  "Phil? Are you alright?" he shakily nodded, taking a deep breath in then letting it out.

  "Then there was a fire in your eyes. And it grew until it took over. And you were burning hot. And I pulled you into me, terrified of what was happening. T-then you..." he trailed off, breathing fast and staring at his cup. I immediately got up and hugged him, trying to calm him down.

  "T-then you t-told m-me to k-kill y-you." he said after he'd gotten his breathing under control again. "And some how, I-i did. Then I pulled you into me, crying. Then you were gone." I looked up at him confused. He didn't seem to notice as he continued. "I went searching for you. And your spirit came to me and said you forgave me. Then after your spirit left, I heard you screaming my name." he looked over at me, searching my face for some sort of reaction.

  "I... You dont have to worry about that Phil. In pretty sure its impossible to get fire in my eyes." I sat back and looked at him.

  He shook his head and looked at his lap. "Dans now a theorist. He said that it could mean that im scared to lose you." I looked at him confused. He sighed. "Like, because couples get in bad arguments or something happens then they leave, the other dead in their minds. That correlates with the beginning when I had to kill you." he looked over at me to make sure I was keeping up.

  "Continue."

  "Then if one realizes the mistake they made they go and try to find the one they lost. But they're already gone. And they hold on to all the memorys of the one they lost. Hence your spirit."

  "What about the end? When I was screaming your name?"

  "Your realization." there was a silence that fell over us.

  "It makes sense." Phil said, breaking the silence. "Im terrified when it comes to anything with you. I see all these people who look about 10 times better than me, terrified you're going to leave me for someone hotter. When ever i see you crying I get terrified that its because of me. When I let my wants take over and I forget to think about you. Thats the one that makes me the most terrified. It'll affect you the most anyway."

  "Ill never leave you Philly. Ill love you till I die. I promise." I took his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers.  "And you can do whatever you want. Ill most likely wont mind."

  He laughed quietly. "I dont think you want to give me the freedom."

  "What? Of course I do." i smiled at him, scrunching up my nose.

  "Really?" I nodded. He was about to answer but was interrupted by his text notification. He checked it then sighed. "Ive got to go. See you later." he placed a small kiss on my head before he stood up to leave.

  Right before he walked away from the table he knocked his cup over, making sure the contents didn't spill my way. He looked at the cup and sighed.

  "What was that?" I asked him.

  "A metaphor." he responded. Before I could ask what metaphor, he was gone.