I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

Gerard's POV:

I finished writing the song at home and named it Vampires Will Never Hurt You. I was actually proud of myself for being able to write something. I guess Frank was right, after all.

I continued to write my thoughts through the rest of the week. It was a good way to put it out what I was feeling. And it was anger and sadness most of the time.

In that day, it was raining. It was raining so much. I love rain, but I had to go home walking. To make it even better, Mikey was sick and missed class. I had to walk home by myself.

"Wish I had a fucking umbrella..." I mumbled at the school's gates, looking to the street. Two minutes in the rain and I was already completely wet. My long black hair was sticking to my face, so I decided to make a ponytail.

I sighed and started walking. The road was full of puddles everywhere. I kept walking, faster as the rain got stronger. I'd probably get sick because of all of that rain. But, after a while, it started to feel nice. The cold water running down my hair and my face, I was already soaked anyway, why just don't enjoy it?

Suddenly, I saw myself alone on the street. No cars on the road, no one walking past. I stopped walking, dropped my soaked backpack in the ground and opened my arms, staring at the grey skies and smiled. I could feel the water cleaning me. I wasn't sad of angry anymore. It was just me, the rain, the cold wind. It felt nice.

"Hey, what the fuck is that weirdo doing right now?" I heard a voice say. The only voice I didn't want to listen.

I opened my eyes and looked to the road. There was a car with the windows down, and I could see them there.

"What the fuck are you doing? Worshiping one of your dark lords?" asked Blake. The others laughed.

I didn't answer. I got my backpack from the floor and started leaving, a bit embarrassed.

"Woah, where'd you think you're going?" said Zach.

Again, I ignored them and started walking away.

"Who toughed you that attitude, Way?" Jason screamed. "You think you can just leave like that? Have some respect to your superiors!"

Superiors.

I wanted to scream so much. I wanted to get my ass back there and punch them. Kill them. But I just couldn't. Couldn't make myself do that.

The anger boiling in my blood was so hot that didn't even feel the cold rain anymore. But still, I kept walking away.

"Way thinks he can ignore us." I heard Carter say. "Let's teach him a lesson."

All I could hear was the noise of the car's doors opening, but I had already ran away. Suddenly, my backpack became heavier. My heart was beating so fast. I couldn't see anything anymore. I couldn't feel the rain. All I could hear was the sound of their footsteps against the puddles on the ground, getting closer at every second.

I stopped running when I felt something grabbing my shirt and pulling me back. When I turned around, Blake was in front of me, with Carter, Jason and Zach right behind. I could see some lights getting closer; Sam was driving the car toward us.

"This will teach you not to ignore us again, Way."

One punch. One punch was all that it took for me to fall.

I felt the cold water on my back when I fell into a puddle. My jaw, on the other hand, was burning.

"You are too weak, Way. It's not even funny." Blake said. I had to look up to see him, since I was lying down on the ground. It made me feel small.

"What do we have here?" Carter said, getting close to my backpack. He opened it, and started throwing all my stuff away. Unfortunately, he chose one notebook that had some of the pages marked and opened it.

"Vampires Will Never Hurt You? What the fuck, Way? Your cult is getting even creepier, you little shit!"

No. Not my songs.

I immediately stood up. "Give it back!" I screamed. I tried to run to him to get my notebook back, but Jason and Zach caught me.

"Let me go!" I started to struggle, but all they could do was laugh.

"Let me see that." Blake took the notebook from Carter's hands. "Can you take this spike? Will it fill our hearts with thoughts of endless nighttime sky? Can you take this spike? Will it wash away this jet black feeling?"

Every verse he read, the Jocks laughed even more. I was so embarrassed. I didn't have the courage to show that to anyone yet, not even Frank. And the way they were mocking me... Just made everything worse.

"You wrote that? God, this is terrible!" Jason said, between laughs.

"I thought you were weird, Way, but, wow! You know how to surprise us!" Blake exclaimed. The others laughed even more.

Jason and Zach were still holding my arms and Carter got close to me. We were face to face.

"Go back to Transylvania, shitty vampire. Get out of our school." He whispered. Then, he punched me in the stomach. I immediately lost all the air.

Jason and Zach dropped me on the ground again. Before I could get up the four of them got closer and started kicking me. I couldn't move. All I could do was turn into a ball, covering my head with my hands, trying to protect me.

After a few minutes, the stopped and left, laughing. The last thing I saw, still lying down in the puddle, was Carter ripping the page with my song from my notebook and tearing it into pieces. He, then, threw the notebook in another puddle.

"See you tomorrow, loser." That was the last thing Blake said after the four of them entered the car and left me there, alone.

Everything hurt. My arms, my legs, my stomach. But what hurt the most was my pride.

I crawled towards my notebook. It was completely soaked. The pieces of the page where my song was written were all over the road. Some of them so wet that had already dissolved. Others, blown away by the wind.

I felt the cold water from the rain rolling down my cheeks. Suddenly, the water became hot. I wiped them, trying to convince myself that it was just the rain.

I finally stood up, packed all my things again and continued my way home. While walking, for some reason, there were a phrase echoing in my mind.

You don't know what it means to be a joke and look, another line without a hook.