I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

You Are All To Blame

Gerard's POV:

I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I couldn't think. I was just trying to process everything.

Everything was going fine. Perfectly fine. For the first time, people were actually glad to see us. We weren't the weirdos, the outcasts. And they had to ruin everything.

Everyone on the backstage was screaming. Mikey and Ray were talking to Emily, trying to sort things out and Frank was with that friend of his, Amanda.

I was trying to control myself, but I could feel the anger going through my veins, so hot it burned. I could feel my body shaking. All I could feel was anger. I was made of anger.

No, not anger. Hate.

"That's ENOUGH!" I screamed, standing up. They all looked at me. "ENOUGH! I'M DONE! I'M NOT JUST GONNA TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

I was literally shaking. Mikey got closer to me.

"Gerard, you're shaking! Sit down."

"NO! I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING, IT'S NOT GONNA END LIKE THIS!"

Frank stood right in front of me.

"Gee, are you okay?"

How many times had this question been made? And how many times had I lied? No, enough is enough. I was tired of hiding.

"NO! I'M NOT OKAY! I'M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY! AND I WON'T BE UNTIL WE DO SOMETHING!"

"But there's nothing we can do." Ray commented.

I huffed.

"YES, WE CAN! AND I WILL!"

I walked to the door and left the backstage, going to the corridor. The hate inside me was consuming me and I couldn't ratiocinate.

"Gerard!" I heard Frank scream. But I didn't care. I was finding them, whether my friends were helping me or not.

I came back to the gymnasium. I looked everywhere, but didn't see any of the Jocks. Suddenly, it hit me. I knew where they were.

I entered the corridor again and walked until I was at the parking lot. As I thought, there were the Jocks. Only the five worst of them. There were also some cheerleaders, like Ashley, Danna and Courtney.

Normally, I wouldn't have the guts to do such a thing. But the hate inside me gave me the courage I was needing.

"HEY, YOU!" I screamed. "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET US BE?!"

I caught them by surprise, so they didn't have time to react, I grabbed Blake by the collar. He was taller then me, but I felt bigger.

"We NEVER did anything to you before. WHY you have the need to treat us like garbage? Your self-esteem is so low you need to bully others to feel better?"

He finally pushed me away.

"I treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Like the piece of shit you are."

I spat on him.

Suddenly, someone grabbed me from behind.

"This will help you understand your place." He punched me, but I didn't even feel it. "Interrupting that stupid freak show of yours? That was a favor. Do you really think someone would like that? Do you really think you'll ever be anything?"

"I already am. And I'm better than you."

Before he could punch me again, I kicked him in the balls. He grunted and fell on his knees. Carter appeared from behind him, full of hate.

"You little shit."

He was about to punch me, when, suddenly, we heard someone screamed.

"Leave him alone!"

Whoever was holding me, let me go. I turned around to see Zach with his hands on his head and grunting, and Frank, holding a tough twig. Behind him, Mikey, Ray and Amanda were running towards us.

I felt a pain in my back and turned to see Carter punching me. I pushed him and punched him in the stomach.

Soon, the parking lot was a mess. The nine of us fighting, kicking, punching, rolling on the floor. Suddenly, I heard Sam screaming.

"See? This is what true friendship feels like." I turned and saw that Sam and Carter were punching Frank, together. "Punching idiots together."

Frank just bursted into laughter.

"True friendship? Oh, please... if you only knew..." Frank's eyes widened, like he had remembered something. "In fact, I guess I can help you!"

Frank took his phone out of his pocket, looked for something in it, and then, showed the phone to Sam and Carter.

The phone's light shined in the dark parking lot. Everybody stopped what they were doing and looked at Frank.

I knew exactly what was that.

The picture he took in the bathroom.

The parking lot was pure silence.

Until Sam broke it.

"You son of a bitch" and jumped over Carter.

They started fighting and rolling on the floor. I took the opportunity and began to punch Blake again.

"You are a BITCH! I KNEW IT!" Danna was screaming while slapping Courtney.

"Oh, please, stop whining!"

They began fighting, too. Ashley tried to stop them, but she couldn't.

The fight was easier now. Since Sam and Carter were fighting each other, it was the four of us against three Jocks. They were still stronger than us, but we were making the most out of it.

"What's going on?" screamed someone a few minutes later. I turned to see Mr. Franklin walking towards us, with Amanda in the back.

He managed to separate the fight. All of us – my friends, Jocks, the girls – had bruises, marks, scratches, purple eyes, contusions, everything. Carter and Sam still stared at each other with anger.

Mr. Franklin spent a long time giving us a lecture, but I wasn't listening. My ears were buzzing, my thoughts, far away.

The second the math teacher left, I walked away. My friends followed me. I heard Blake scream in the back "this isn't over!", but I only raised my hand and showed the middle finger, without turning to face him.