I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

I'm Not Afraid To Keep On Living

Gerard's POV:

After going to the nursery, we all went to see the principal. As I expected, he couldn't let his golden athletes go to detention, so he pretended to believe that we started the fight and only the four of us got to pay the price.

Obviously, no coat could hide our bruises, so Mikey and I agreed to tell mom and dad the truth about the fight. We said we were fine and it wouldn't happen again. We had our fingers crossed behind our backs when we said that.

Frank told me all about the Ashley Jump Scare thing, which I thought it was hilarious. And apparently, she actually fainted after it. Guess she was scared of something after all. I just don't know how Frank manage to enter her locker. Guess I'll have to find that by myself, since he wouldn't tell me.

In the next day, the detention was at the Chemistry classroom. For some reason, Mr. Olson left us alone. We could leave if we wanted, but we knew he was probably just watching TV in the teacher's room at the end of the corridor, so running away wouldn't do much, besides giving us two more hours of detention.

Frank was sitting on the floor, playing with a little squishy ball. Mikey was sitting on a chair, with his head on the table, probably trying to sleep. Ray was writing on a piece of paper with a crayon. I had no idea of what he was doing.

I was at the last table of the classroom, on the last chair, writing on my notebook. After all that incident, I was finally inspired, had some stuff going on my mind and I was trying to turn it into lyrics.

And if your heart stops beating
I'll be here wondering
Did you get what you deserve?
The ending of your life
And if you get to heaven
I'll be here waiting, babe
Did you get what you deserve?
The end, and if your life won't wait
Then your heart can't take this

It wasn't bad.

Suddenly, Frank got up and snorted.

"This is SO boring! Also, so unfair. I wanna go home."

"Just deal with it, Frankie." Mikey said, still hiding his head under his arms.

"But it's soooo boring." he was whining like a little kid. "What are you guys even doing?"

He walked across the classroom and came up to me.

"What'cha doin', Gee?" he said, smiling creepily.

"Noth-" I tried to say as he stole my notebook. "Hey! Give it back!"

Frank laughed and started running and reading as I chased him.

"Frank! I'm serious! Give it back!"

Suddenly, he stopped running and looked at me. No laugh, no smile.

"Gee, you wrote that?" he said, quietly. Ray and Mikey were now staring at us.

I blushed and shook my head, affirming.

"This is... Great!" Frank smiled and turned to Ray and Mikey. "Guys, listen!"

I turned around, very embarrassed, as Frank read my lyrics out loud. I think he was more excited because I was writing again than because of the lyrics itself.

"Wow." Said Mikey. "That's amazing, Gee."

"Thanks." I responded, softly.

"We should start taking the band thing seriously." Frank commented. Mikey and I agreed.

"Maybe we should start by giving the band a name, right?" Mikey said, laughing.

"Right. What do you think, Ra-" Frank turned to Ray and stopped talking. "What the fuck are you even doing?"

We all stared at Ray. He was licking and about to eat the crayon. I laughed.

Frank walked towards Ray and stole his piece of paper.

"What is this supposed to be?"

Ray shrugged.

"I don't know. Just writing some stuff. Very random."

Frank read some of the things written there out loud. Most was just "Ray Rules" and other weird things, but there was one that caught our attention.

"My Beautiful Romance?" Frank asked.

"That sounds cool." Said Mikey.

"Nah." I argued. "Could be less... Cute."

"What you propose, then?" Ray stood up.

I thought for a while, then said "My Brutal Romance?"

"Ew, no way, that's horrible!" Frank exclaimed, as he and Ray walked towards me. Mikey remained seated, staring at some chemistry utensils on the shelf.

"I really like the Romance part." Frank continued. "But we gotta change the middle."

"My Innocent Romance?" Ray suggested.

"My Selfish Romance."

"My Miserable Romance."

"My Pathetic Romance."

"My Watercooler Romance!" Ray said, finally.

"That's the worst of all." Frank answered. Ray stared at him, a bit mad.

We all stopped talking and the classroom remained in silence. Suddenly, with his eyes still glazed in the chemistry materials, Mikey stood up and said, very slowly and quietly.

"My Chemical Romance."

We kept in silence. Literally, none of us said a thing. No one agreed or disagreed. But, deep inside, we all knew: our band finally had a name.