I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

I'm Who I've Got To Be

Gerard's POV:

"This has gone too far." Said Mikey as he held a bag with ice against my leg. He stopped, used his inhaler and then continued.

When I got home, Mikey was waiting for me. He was worried because it took me too long to come back from school. When I explained to him what happened, he felt so guilty that I don't know what was worst: my pain, my embarrassment or the look on his face.

We were at my room, after I took a shower to try to get rid of all the cold rain and possibly my thoughts. Luckily, we were alone. I'd hate if mom and dad saw me like that.

"What you expect me to do?" I asked. "Telling someone? Who would listen to me?"

"Mom and dad." He said. We looked into each other's eyes. We both knew that we would never tell mom and dad about the things we go through.

I sighed. "It's not happening."

He fixed his glasses and took the ice bag away from my leg.

"What are you telling them about all of those bruises?" he asked me.

I shrugged.

"I don't know. It doesn't matter. I think they're not even gonna see."

My arms and legs were full of purple marks and bruises. Fortunately, they didn't hit me in the face, so it would be easier to hide.

Mikey sighed and sat at the end of my bed.

"This has to stop, Gerard. We have to do something."

I snorted.

"It's all I want. But would I do? Punch them back? We both know it's not happening."

He remained in silence for a while, thinking.

"I'm sorry." He said, finally. "For living you alone today. This probably wouldn't have happened if I was there."

I gave him a sad smile and moved to hug him.

"It's not your fault, Mikey. Relax."

He smiled back, then said "What else did they do? Besides punching you and throwing away your stuff?"

I immediately remembered my song. Carter tearing the page apart. The pieces flying away or dissolving in the puddles.

"Nothing." I said. "By the way, we should start trying to dry my stuff. If mom and dad see that, they'll probably ask..."

"Yeah, okay."

We got up and spent most of the afternoon trying to dry my books and notebooks. They were not perfect, the pages had ripples, but at least they were dry and usable.

Going to school on the following day was harder than I thought. Most of my bruises had faded away, but some of them were really purple and visible. I decided to wear a coat, so no one could see my arms. The school's pants would cover my legs.

"Why the coat? It's not that cold today." Said mom when I arrived at the living room. I, for some reason, froze. But before I could say anything, Mikey appeared.

"It was raining really hard yesterday." He said. "Maybe it will get cold later."

Mom raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

"Okay, then. Have a good day, dear."

I left the house, followed by Mikey. We exchanged a look. I didn't even had to say thank you. He just smiled like he already knew, and we started walking.