Bound to You (A Niall Horan Fanfic)

Chapter 30

Songs for this chapter:

Because of You- Kelly Clarkson

Big Star-Kenny Chesney

Same Mistakes- One Direction

SAVANNAH'S POV

                The voiceover plays and I hear Demi’s voice surround me, “This week is contestant’s choice and songs to get you to the final.  Of course, I love Kelly Clarkson, and Sav has such a huge voice that we chose ‘Because of You’.”

                My voice comes on next and I gasp in shock as how strong I sound contrasting to how I feel now, nervous and scared.  “This song really means a lot to me because it takes me back to a time in my life when I was afraid to live and be myself.  It’s something that I, and many other people in this world, still struggle with and I think it’s important to admit your weaknesses so that you can conquer them.  And with this song I want to shut out the person that made me feel that way and prove to him and everybody that being me is okay and what is right.”

                “I’m so proud of her and what she’s been able to accomplish so far,” Demi’s voice comes on again and I know the time to perform is only seconds away.  All of the voices creep back in as the video still plays behind me.  What if Jordan sees this?  What if he gets angry and finds me again?  What if it isn’t fair?

                Of course it’s fair, he deserves this.  He deserves the humiliation he is faced with.  Should I have told my story?

                My thoughts are so far gone I nearly miss the cue.  “I will not make the same mistakes that you did.

 I will not let myself

Cause my heart so much misery.

 I will not break the way you did,

You fell so hard.

 I've learned the hard way

To never let it get that far.”

                I keep one hand on the microphone and the other on the stand.  I take a breath and channel every emotion into this.  Pain, guilt, fear, life.  “Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

 Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

 Because of you I am afraid.”

                I remove the mic from the stand and start to slowly move around the stage.  I do my best to interact with the audience but every face appears to be his. “I lose my way

 And it's not too long before you point it out

 I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

 I'm forced to fake

A smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with.”

                His eyes are everywhere.  Some are evil, some are pooling in sorrow.  I look towards the ground and try to picture other ones, blue ones, as the bridge comes on. “I watched you die I heard you cry every night in your sleep