I squinted. So long ago, I remembered, I was grieving- I wouldn't ever be the same, I knew. I hadn't seen Nico since I left. I was an idiot. I was an absolute idiot, a jerk, a loser and I knew that I didn't deserve him. I sighed, leaning against the doorframe where I had been standing, staring into the room that used to be his. I could barely remember the way he used to light up, rushing around, how he would hum when he was working. Why couldn't I remember?! I hit my hand against the wall in frustration, bringing a stinging sensation to my palm. The pain slowly brought me back to reality, and I took a breath. You need to calm down. You need to forget him. So that's what I did. Now, I was back to normal. I hadn't the hint of longing in my eyes like I used to, I was easy and comfortable joking around and sure that I would be okay. I would be okay. Ma was over feeling sorry for me and now she too was over Nico. I smiled at the name. To think he used to cause me that much trouble. I even chuckled. Gosh, I was so much better off now, right? Right?!
I shook my head at myself, having been standing alone on the walk home from school, and realized I had walked right into an alley. A raindrop hit my head. Pitter patter, they splashed onto the pavement and the brick walls next to me. It was hot, but I pulled my flannel closer. Squeezing my eyes shut, my hands trailed up the wall and I hit it out of frustration. Pain stung my palm, but I hit it again. What was wrong with me?! It had been a year, why was I still this broken? What was I missing??
Nico.
Gods I missed him. I bit my lip, a shudder running through me as I slid down the wall and sat on the wet ground, my fresh tears blending in with the rain. I wasn't ready to let go. But he probably was. He would be fine with Jason, he would be taken care of, loved, he wouldn't remember me. My chest ached, and I pressed my palms to it to stop the pain, but I only made it worse. Thunder boomed above me, the clouds darkening. I stayed in the alley.
YOU ARE READING
Black and White
FanfictionSoulmates: the interest of our generation. We live and breath for them, walk and talk about them. It's so exciting finding yours- that moment when the blacks, whites and greys burst into color and you can see them for the first time in a real ligh...
