Black and White

34- Will

A few months had passed. Nico and I had stressed over every detail of the wedding, spending too many sleepless nights obsessing over flower arrangements and seating. We had also bought an apartment a few weeks back, but hadn't actually stayed there yet, since we had been furnishing it at the same time as planning the wedding.
Now, finally, everything was going to be worth it. I blew a breath out between slightly parted lips, trying to calm my pounding heart.

I was going to be the one walking down the aisle today.

I had been in my dressing room in the venue for almost 3 hours already, staring into my reflection. Lou Ellen and Cecil sat on either side of me for moral support, Lou Ellen's fingers raking through my curls in an attempt to tame them. I grunted as she yanked a little, then returned to my slouch in the chair. 

"Will. Relax." Cecil grinned, rolling his eyes. "You've been planning this for months, it's gonna go great." I groaned again, throwing a hand over my face. "You don't know that. Everything's gonna go wrong. The flowers are suddenly not gonna match anymore and I'll spill something on my suit and Nico's gonna change his mind last minute and leave me there, humiliated." Lou Ellen whacked my head. "Ouch!"
"Serves you right. Stop being an idiot and stand up. I have to straighten your suit, and then you're going out there and marrying that poor boy!" I scoffed. "Poor boy?"
"Yeah, dumbass, cause he has to marry you." I stood up, unfazed, and let Lou smooth out my outfit. "The music is going to start any minute. Let's go." She took my hand and positioned me behind the door, then secured my hand in my mother's. Mom was going to walk me down the aisle. Then, Lou and Cecil went up to the front, where I assumed Nico stood. Since they both wanted to be part of the wedding, Nico was kind enough to ask them both to be the best man and the maid of honor. Lou had cried. 

And then the music started, and all at once, everything was happening around me in a blur, and my heart started pounding and my mom must have known, because she squeezed my hand with a smile. The doors opened, and I started walking. My feet seemed to know what they were doing, thank god, because my mind was anywhere but here. I skimmed over the faces around me- not many people, but enough to make my heart swell with anxiety and pride. Then I watched my shoes hit the carpet for a few steps, noting the crinkles in the flower petals as I walked. And then, finally, I looked up. I looked up, and there he was. There he was, in all his glory. It looked as though his eyes hadn't left me from the moment I had walked in, because when I met them, his gaze shifted into a knowing smile. 'Everything will be okay. Don't worry. I'm here.'  He wore a black suit, his hair almost carelessly gelled back. Gorgeous. He glowed. 

I watched him break out into a full grin and cover his mouth with the back of his hand, turning around for a second, and tears pricked the corners of my eyes. Suddenly, I couldn't remember what I was worried about. Suddenly, I saw that I made him happy, and that's all that mattered to me. I pecked my mother's cheek before stepping up to him, turning his chin back to look at me, and smiling softly. "Hey, Neeks." The sunlight filtering through the window weaved patterns in his hair and across his cheek. Butterflies started to turn inside me like clothes in a washing machine as I finally realized the extent of what was happening right now. "Oh, god..." He breathed. "I'm the luckiest man alive." I chuckled a little at that, desperate to stay in this moment forever, but at the same time I itched for us to be official. Officially his, forever. 

The ceremony was fast. Nico and I had linked our fingers for most of it, and that had kept my heart pounding the whole time. And then, it was time for us to recite our vows, and I didn't even need to hear anything Nico was going to say because I knew, I knew exactly how he felt in this moment. Like his heart was so big, too big, like it was going to explode. 

"Will." He started with a breathy laugh. "Even if you stayed by my side my entire life, it still wouldn't be long enough for me to express the way you make me feel. And for that, I want to apologize. I can't show you how every time I look at you, I feel so relieved that you're there. My best friend, my most important person, the only person who really matters to me, you're there, and that in itself is enough to make me want to cry. I can't show you how eternally grateful I am to you, either. Because you saved me, countless times, both from others and from myself. I confess that sometimes I'm not at my best, and that can be a pain, but for some reason you're my antidote. And my god, I'm so grateful because I'm so lucky. I get the man with the most gorgeous smile, who laughs at his own terrible jokes and sometimes ties the strings on his hoodie in a bow, who has the most beautiful, generous, caring soul, and who isn't afraid to risk himself for someone in need. You're brave, and courageous, and smart. You're my everything, Will. You have always, always been there for me, and I promise that for the rest of my life I will dedicate myself to being enough for you." He was crying now, but that didn't stop him. "I love you so much, my sunshine, and I'm so, so happy to be marrying you."

I felt my heart break. Just a crack at first, and then suddenly it was as though the dam broke, and I felt like crumbling, falling down to my knees and sobbing. "My love, my Nico," I whimpered, tears flowing freely down my face now. "I- I-" I knew it was my turn, but my god, I didn't know if I could get through it. A couple deep breaths. That's it. "Nico. I don't have anything long or special planned for this... I can't possibly tell you how much I love you, or how intense my feelings are for you. When I catch you in the mornings, making breakfast, or when you fall asleep at the table.. when we go grocery shopping or out for ice cream.. moments like those make me sure that you are what I want for the rest of my life. That I want a future with you, because one without you would be hell. When you left... when you left, it was hell for me. I coudn't eat, couldn't sleep.. I.. How can I say this so that you understand?" His eyes were wide and he had pursed his lips again to keep from breaking down. I reached forward and grasped his hand, then pressed it to my pounding heart.  My voice softened. "You're doing this. Not just making it race, though. You keep it beating, darlin'. That's you." Before even looking up, I heard him sniff, and the hand on my chest slowly curled into a fist, grasping at my suit jacket desperately. 

All at once, it was over. We had said our "I do"s and slipped the rings on, then shared joyful kisses all the way back down the aisle. The reception would be tomorrow, on the beach, but for now, I just wanted to enjoy myself with my husband. I just wanted to be alone with him. We had arrived at our new home as the sun was setting, and now I was sitting on the bed as Nico freshened up in the bathroom. "Nico," I called. "Come out here." He did. Big mistake. He had removed the gel in his hair, effectively messing it up, and loosened his tie so it hung around his shoulders. I felt my face heat up. "Y- you-"
"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow. "What's up?" I buried my face in my hands. "You look..."
"What are you embarrassed for? We're literally married." He grinned, sitting next to me on the bed and removing my hands from my eyes. "And if it makes you feel any better, you look... too." Still holding both my wrists in his hands, he pressed his forehead to mine. "And you're mine now." I laughed a little, shifting so that I could intertwine our fingers. "Don't be stupid." I pressed our lips together quickly, softly. "I was always yours." He leaned back and closed his eyes, then ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. "Goddamn, Solace. You're doing this on purpose."
"What?"
"Making yourself so... irrisistable to me." That was it. I lunged forwards, knocking him back onto the bed and pinning my arms next to his head. "Don't resist, then." And then we were kissing, really kissing. His fingers had tangled themselves in my hair and tugged lightly as our lips, tounges, teeth, and noses clashed. Both of us were breathing heavily, too caught up to notice as we pulled ourselves up and were now leaning against the headboard, and my hands slipped up the back of his shirt. He gasped through the kiss at my cold touch, then pulled a little more on my hair. Impatient and breathless, I broke apart. He must've seen my eyes begging, because he didn't even wait to start unbuttoning. Before I knew it, both of us were shirtless, sweating from movement and body heat as I kissed him against the headboard. "Will..." he whined. "Please."
I moved to start kissing his jawline. "Please, what?" He squirmed, hands slipping down to my shoulder blades. "Please Will, I-" He gasped. "I want you." My face definitely heated up, but I wasn't going to stop because of that. Instead, I leaned closer to his ear. "Are you sure?" 
"Yes, goddamn it!" He snapped impatiently, turning my face to kiss me hard, this one more rough and aggressive than before. I grinned into his lips. "Alright then."