Black and White

25- Nico

"Do you stop seeing color when you fall out of love?" I asked casually, flipping through the pages of his book.  Jason glanced over. "Maybe. I don't think so.  "Oh. Good." I found my page and settled down, focused on the story. 
Jason set a glass of hot chocolate down next to me and sat too, flipping open his laptop.  It was December now- it had been five months since the incident.  I was pretty over it, as long as I didn't think about it I was okay.  Jason was great company, he and I were always hanging out.  He had started me in an online school so I didn't have to see Will at school.  It was a lot more convenient than regular school, but sometimes I missed the walks we used to take. Like the time we got up late and decided to skip first period, we made iced tea and walked to school. I tripped and spilled my drink on the way, and he caught me, but we were both wet and laughing.  That was a good day. I felt tears prick my eyes, and I pulled my book further up into my face. 
Jason put a hand on my arm. He always seemed to know when I wasn't okay.  "Hey," he said, gently pulling my arm down.  "Hey, it's okay. It's okay, you have me now." I nodded, sniffing.  I tried to stop it there, but the tears spilled out like a fountain, and I buried my face in his sweater. My choked sobs were muffled by his arms as he wrapped them around me, tightly squeezing and murmuring comforts.  It didn't feel the same as it did with Will. I pushed away.  "I- uh- I need to take a walk." I rubbed my eyes with the back of my sleeve. He nodded, not offering to come with me, which I was grateful for. I swung open the door and stepped into the sunlight.  Now where? I started walking, fiddling with my phone. My feet seemed to know where they were going. 

I found myself staring at the brick walls and windows of my old school.  People swarmed it, all in light coats and gloves.  I shivered, having forgotten my own.  Then the doors swung open again, and three people stepped out.  The first one said something- the other one laughed, then nudged the third, who offered a smile.  I couldn't look away.  He was exactly the same, but completely different.  He still had golden waves of hair and freckles on his cheeks, still wore those maroon converse and still had shining blue eyes.  But I could tell he didn't smile as much. He looked more serious, more solemn. The third one looked up.  I couldn't do it- I turned and started walking away before he could see me.
He had left me, nothing else to it.
Jason was waiting for me when I returned.
"Hey. You okay?"
"Never better," I said bitterly, then sighed and corrected myself, seeing his concern. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Thanks."
"You wanna just put on a movie tonight?"
"Yeah." We moved into the living room and I lay down on the couch, Jason sitting on the floor, leaning against it.  I smiled. This was okay. He pulled my hand down from my side and held it comfortingly, and I let him, spacing out slowly and letting my attention drift to how warm his hands was. Yeah, this was okay.