Shadowhunter stories ~mainly Malec!

Fear running free

Alec woke up cold and alone. He reached out for Magnus' embrace but he wasn't there. Alec winced as he remembered the fight they had the night before, he remembered the shouting, the anger, the tears but really it wasn't towards each other, it was towards the fear. The fear that love brings, the dependence one forms on the other; the fear that inevitably one is going to lose the other. Alec also remembered the whole bottle of vodka he downed after the fight, then the drunk voicemail he left Magnus resurfaced in his memory.

It was around noon before he pulled himself out of bed. He opened his room door, exposing himself to the light as it flooded into the room. He walked out into the hall in old joggers and a faded grey top I'm pretty sure was meant to be black. His hair was sprouting out in different directions but he really didn't care.

"You look like shit" Izzy pointed out,
"Good morning to you to" Alec grumbled
"Its noon" She scowled,
"It's morning somewhere"
"Jeez, who rattled your cage?"
"You, always picking apart my life. Urghhh"
"You fell out with Magnus didn't you"
"N....ye..... Maybe"
"Alec go talk to him"
"I can't, i just need to forget about him it would never work. He friggin lives forever. I'm over it"
"Then why are crying"
Alec wiped his cheek to realise he was crying involuntarily, pouring from his eyes as if a storm hit.
"It's natural to feel vulnerable in a relationship like that," Izzy sympathised
"He'll watch me die," Alec cried.
"Having lived an amazing, beautiful life with you," Izzy interrupted.
"I can't" Alec began to walk off.
"You'll reget it Alec," Iz shouted as he walked further away.
When he got to his office he threw himself down on his chair and began to work. He reached for a pen, his sleeve rode up revealing his arm. He stared down at the silver bracelet circuling round his wrist "aku cinta kamu." engraved into it. He sat helplessly gazing at it remembering the day Magnus gave it to him. Their love and devotion that this bracelet resembled, Alec couldn't help but think he was making a mistake leaving Magnus. He thought back to Izzy's words "Regret" pungent in his mind. A smile crossed  his face when he thought of what Magnus would say "Regret is such a pointless emotion. Fear is temporary, regret is forever!" with that Alec practically flew out of his seat to make his way to Magnus' loft.
Outside it was raining heavily, Alec didn't notice at first, too consumed by how he would get Magnus back. Alec walked up the steps to Magnus' apartment and knocked on the door but no reply. He sat on the steps of his apartment building waiting for hours, the rain never stopped, never even slowed down. Out of the mist Magnus appeared, his jacket glistening in the moonlight.
"Alec," Magnus uttered,
Alec's face lit up, he scambled to his feet and crossed the road to Magnus.
"How long have you been here?"
"A couple of hours, i think."
"Why?"
"Because I made a mistake"
"What you made a mistake saying our relationship was a mistake or....?" Magnus spat coldly.

"Everything in my life I've managed to fuck up but this, us is perfect; if i did anything right it was falling in love with you,"
Magnus realise that was the first time Alec had ever spoke about his feelings, he felt a peng of emotion, a kind of fuzzy feeling thinking about Alec loving him. Rain still pouring down, hitting the ground and bouncing up in a harmonic rhythm. Alecs hair was soaked, droplets dripping from it onto his nose, Magnus moved the hair out of his eyes so he could properly look at Alec, take in all his beautiful features. He brought his hand down to Alec's chin, pulling Alec's face closer to his. Alec closed his eyes letting Magnus take control. All of a sudden a rush of adrenaline hit him as Magnus smashed his lips against Alecs, exploring ever inch of Alecs mouth. Alec was overcome by emotion. Alec rested his forehead on Magnus' and whispered "I'll find a way,"
Magnus looked at Alec with confusion "A way to what?"
"To live forever," ...