Whiskey Sunrises

31-Need You

Alaya's POV

I couldn't sleep.

I tossed and turned all night, images from what I imagined Niko's childhood was like running through my mind. Little boys being forced to watch horrible things, only to be forced to do those horrible things when they were older or be beaten. Then there were the questions. How did Alexei get out? How did Niko convince them to let him move away from Russia? How was Sergei always in such good spirits, despite living through all of that? How could Ana allow those things to be done to her sons? Did Victor feel any remorse?

I was furious at the two older Volkovs, so much so that I would probably punch them if I saw them today.  I didn't plan to though. I'd just finished a quick shower and was getting dressed in ripped jeans, a tank top along with some Doc Martins and was going to hunt Nikolai down as soon as the sun started coming up. Braiding my hair to the side I hurried to the kitchen, needing a few gallons of coffee if I wanted to make it past 8am without passing out. My head was still lightly throbbing from all the crying I did yesterday and my eyes were so puffy that I didn't even bother trying to cover it with makeup. All in all I probably looked like shit, but I didn't have it in me to care.

Tony was already busy filling his own cup when I stepped into the kitchen, nearly jumping out of his skin when I stepped into the kitchen. Placing a hand on his heart, he playfully scowled at me.

"Jesus Allie, give a guy a warning would you. I forgot you get up before the crack of dawn." he panted slightly.

"Well let's hope you do remember how I take my coffee, huh?" I mumbled, leaning against the counter.

"Of course I do." he scoffed. "I'm no amateur. I also value my face, without any bruising." He joked.

"Good man." I tried to smile, but only grimaced.

"You okay? You know, my offer to kick the Russian's ass still stands." he said seriously, concern clouding his face.

"No, no, I'm fine. We actually talked a little last night." I admitted softly.

"You're joking? You actually talked to him after what happened?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, he talked and I listened. I plan on finding him to finish the conversation when everyone's awake." I frowned at his disapproving tone.

"Alayla, are you fucking dense?" He shouted. "Look at what he's hid from you! Look at all of the heartache he's caused you, and you want to fucking talk to him about everything?!" The fuck?

"Excuse me?" I said in a warning tone.

"You fucking heard me Alayla!"

"First, who the fuck are you to call me dense?! You have no idea what's going on, so don't raise your voice at me. If I wanted to talk to him for closure, I could. If I wanted to talk to him to fix things, I damn well could! I don't need to ask for your opinion or your fucking permission!" I snapped.

"And when he breaks your heart again?! You can't trust him! Am I the only fucker that can see that? He doesn't deserve you, and you deserve someone who would look after you, not put you in harms way or hide who he really is from you. If he really loved you he wouldn't do any of that!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

"You know what Tony? You don't know shit. If you knew anything about what  happened, you'd know that there was a hell of a lot more going on than you thought. Behind the scenes stuff that isn't black and white, shit that's not pretty and that could change a lot of things. But even if there wasn't, I'd never doubt Nikolai's love for me. You can't fake a love like that. You can question his intentions or morals or even his fucking IQ for what he did, but you have no right to question his feelings for me. So fuck off." I spat before turning around and stomping out of the kitchen.