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Chapter XI: Haunted

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*Bella's POV*

" Bella I need you to talk to me. I can't let you go on like this. I need to know what's going on. I need to know what's bothering you, and I'm not going to take no for answer." TJ said as he kneeled down in front of me and held my hands.

I couldn't say anything. I just couldn't. I feel like I'm keeping a deep dark secret from the one person who's been here for me since day one. It's just hard, because I'm scared. I'm scared that he won't believe me again. I'm scared that he'll break up with me, and just leave. I can't risk that. I can't risk losing TJ. If I do that then I'll be lonely again. I don't want to be lonely again. I can't help the fact that I'm haunted. I can't help that I've been chosen to haunt night after night. Since the day at the black pond I've been restless. I can't sleep, I toss and turn nonstop. I've become paranoid, and I'm not used to anything anymore.

"Bella?" TJ said.

I just stared at the big broad window in our bedroom where the sun shined brightly. My eyes were wide as I thought of last night. The dream with the paper flowers, and TJ. I'm trying not to close my eyes, because the visuals come back and taunt me. My heart is racing, and I become breathless again. How can I explain this to him?

TJ placed both of his hands on my face and stared into my eyes. After staring into each other's eyes our lips had suddenly crashed, and I started crying. He pulled back brushed my hair away from my eyes.

"Oh no no don't cry. Please don't cry. You're better than this, stop crying again. Talk to me Bella, I'll listen I promise. I won't judge you." He whispered.

"I c-can't TJ. It's hard! you won't understand, you'll think I'm crazy. I don't want you to leave me."

" TJ." He gasped. "I would never leave you. Ever. Do you realize how much I love you? I love you so much, that I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with you. You are my world."

"TJ I don't know what to say. I honestly didn't know you felt that way about me."

"Yes of course love. But I need you to talk to me. You haven't been acting like yourself lately. What's going on?"

"I-I can't. I don't think you'll believe me when I tell you the things that have been scaring me. It's hard for me for me to even explain. I mean at night I just turn so fucking paranoid, I can't sleep, I-I can't eat....I-

Before I could even finish TJ leaned in and crashed his lips upon mine again, except it was harder. I moaned and pulled him closer to me, wrapping my arms around his waist. Another moan escaped my mouth and suddenly TJ stopped and frowned at me.

"Bella.....Bella no no stop. We can't do this. We can't move forward until you talk to me. I need to know. You know we don't keep secrets from each other. It's not us."

I sighed and looked away.

"You can't hide this from me any longer. You can't be afraid to be honest with me. I'll understand I promise. If you just let me in I promise I'll do everything in my power to take your pain away. Just give me the key to your heart, and I'll take it all away just to make you happy again. It's been a while since I've seen that beautiful smile of yours." TJ whispered in my ear.

I started crying again and took a deep breath.

"That's the thing I can't tell you. If I do then something bad will happen. And I can't let you know ....I -

He interrupted me again by kissing me down my neck. I let out a small moan again, grabbing ahold of the sheets as he started going lower. He took my vest off and threw it to the floor and started planting kisses all the way down to my stomach. I suddenly arched my back. He looked up at me once more and frowned.

As I held on I could feel my nails digging into his back, and the sweat dripping from my face. His fingertips were pressing down hard into my hips, and carried me from the wall unto the bed. He leaned down and crashed his lips upon mine and took his place beside me. He stood up and unraveled the bedsheets and picked me up in his arms and gently placed me in bed on the velvet silk sheets. He laid beside me and wrapped his arms around my waist, and plated a kiss on my cheek. He held me close.

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