The Adventures of Dan and his boobs ( the boob fic )

Chapter 8 (late update)

* very fucked up*

*More fucked up then your mum*

Chapter 8

After the "incident" that Dan refers to as " the milk incident", Dan has very harsh cringe attacks. They had to get a new sink because the milk was overflowing. As Dan went to the bathroom, he felt something leave his stomach,

His baby ( really a watermelon but he refuses it)

Dan was horrified

He ate his own baby

Dan was worried he would have to turn himself in. He was a cannibal.

"Dan, are you alright?" Phil asked, expected Dan was having more anal.

"NO IM NOT I JUST SHIT OUT MY BABY" Dan screamed.

Phil came in and saw the water melon was in the toilet.

"Holy Mona Lisa Dan how the hell did your body break that down?"

Dan was silent.

He laid on the bathroom floor, thinking about what he had done.

"Dan for Fucks sake you didn't eat your baby your body just didn't break it down" Phil told Dan

But Dan denied it.

He ran to his room 

He dramatically look out the window, as the rain fell.

Phil stood by the door.

"Dan stood at the window sad. His milk would be useless, they sagged. He drank unicorn oil to sooth the pain of despair. Dan looked at Phil, and Phil realize he was narrating aloud." Phil said.

Dan sighed and laid on his bed.

"No one cares, nor do I" Dan said

Phil went over to him.

"Dan it's not like that" Phil pleaded.

Dan looked at Phil.

Dan was classy

They stared in each other's eyes

They got closer

And right as they were about to kiss

Phil took out his boobs and sprayed Dan in magical unicorn milk that was sparkly pink.

"FFS PHIL " Dan yelled

"WELL UR DEPRESSED OVER POOPING OUT YOUR BABY THAT ISNT EVEN CLASSIFIED AS A BABY BUT A FRUIT YET YOU DENY IT U DENY OUR LOVE DAN HOWELL I LOVE YOU AN IF U CANT RECOGNIZE THAT THEN WHO THE HELL IS I?" Phil cried.

Dan looked up at Phil

"So dramatic" Dan said

"Oops, wrong fanfic" Phil said

"You know what" Phil said

"What?" DAn said

"How long will I need you?." Phil said

"wtf stop quoting Ellie Goulding" Dan said

"MAMA WE ALL GO TO HELL" Phil said pushing Dan onto the bed with red eyes.

Dans boobs started getting scared. They were filling with lava.

"PHIL LEAVE" DAn said

"No Dna I won't"

"MY BOOBS"  dan yelled

"NOO" 

Dans boobs erupted.

The house was partially on fire.

Dan took grip of Phil's hand.

"RUN  DONT LOOK BACK" Dan said, pleading for Phil to save himself

"BUT IM FABULOUS" Phil creepily said

His eyes turned Nash blue of pure evil. His hair up and washed with unicorn oil.

"TAKE THIS MOFO" Dan said to what had once been his BFF

He squirted his lava filled milk bootas and squirted phillippa, melting her into a cat

"Wtf" Dan thought.

"I'm still here" Phil said.

"You don't know a thing about this life

The cat life" Phil the cat said

He walked out and transformed into a human.

"He got da booty" Dan said

Dan was confused, he ate Malteasers and breast milk.

"My life" Dan said.

Phil came back in and kissed Dan. With passion and love

Dan loved Phil :)

Dan suddenly woke up sweating

"SO PHIL ISNT A CAT" Dan yelled

"Bitch motherfuckin mofo I am" the cat with blue eyes and boobs on dans stand said "FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHH JESUS SAVE MY SOUL" Dan said spraying holy water around him and summoning boob spirits and saying spells.

Phil walked into the room

"DAN STOP HAVIN INTERCOURSE WITH HOLY WATER DATS FOR THURSDAY" Phil screamed.

"JFC PHIL.

Phil"

Dan stared at the cat

He slowly backed up out of his room with his arms in front

"Ok" Dan said

He left the room and screamed "FML IM DONE WIT THIS SHIT"

The boobs milk was getting to him