The Adventures of Dan and his boobs ( the boob fic )

Chapter 13 bitchhh

Chapter 13

3 days later. Dan was finding new ways to use his boobs

He used them as wrecking balls and often got stuffed animals and screamed "I CAME IN LIKE A wRECKING BALL" and hit tem with his boobs which led milk to fly out

Phil was moody because he was pregnant.

As Dan was spinning around; squirting milk everywhere, a knock came from the door

He ran and opened it

3 packages were placed

"To: Phil Lester

Note:these are the last bottles I've got - bob" read the box

"PHIL THERES SOme DRUGS IN THE MAIL FOR YOU" Dan screamed

"Free?" Phil asked, peeking his head out his door

Dan turned his head in confuse-meant

"I mean nevermind smh ( sucking my hand" Phil said looking at the ground

He walked over to the packages on the floor of the lounge

A loud gasp came

His eyes turned red and screamed bloody murder

"THEIR MINNNEEEEEEE" Phil said hauling them into his room

As he slammed the door, all you could hear was the clinking of the bottles

Dan was deeply confused

Was it milk?

Was Phil not 'pleased' with his own milk?

Dan was about to go all ghetto ass bitch on Phil so he crept into his room

"And yea this holy water is called 'moonlight magic' for nights were you want to pour it around your bed and make it smell of lavender. OH! An 'black soul of demons' is one of da favs, and "purple anal"- Phil was cut off and screamed after realizing Dan was staring creepily out the door

Phil quickly pulled out his GameBoy and started playing Pokemon

"Gee Dan" he said scratching his neck nervously, "watcha doin here?"

"Well this is oUR flat so.." Dan responded

Phil nervously panned down

"Phil were you filming a Holy Water Haul!?" Dan questioned

"WHAT?! No, I was, uhh, I, um, I mean, no, it, almost-"

"Phil?" Dan said

"Yes....." Phil admitted.

"Why the fuck did you order so much holy water?!" Dan questioned

"Especially 'summernight mist'? You know I hate that"

"Well I found this ghetto sketchy website that sold like 69 bottles a box" Phil replied, smelling the bottle

"So lemme get this straight"

Phil :"We can't"

Dan: " you have 207 bottles of pure holy water?"

Phil: "pretty much"

Dan: "gotcha"

Dan slowly backed out and closed the door, allowing Phil to continue his haul

With mumbling coming from Phil's door, Dan went on his desktop and searched "boob holy water"

A result for a sketchy website called "Ghetto- and-sketchy" came up, with a boob holy water called "booballience"

Dan was somewhat creeped out and logged off after ordering 343 bottles

But Dan was bored as fuck

So he went to da hair Solon in da hood

"Honey what you want " the ghetto lady man said

"Something that says 'IM A NEW ME'" Dan answered

"Oh babe I got something for yo" taquiesha said

In 3 hours Dan came home

"Oh were is the friken spider fic I can't find it anywhere- oh hi dan" phil said quickly x-ing out rapidly

Dan smiled and sat on the couch

"DAN WTF IS ON YOUR HEAD" Phil screeched

" a weave" Dan sassily answered

It was a mixture of red and pink, with locks of braids. Tye dyed tips and roots. It was pushed back it to a ponytail

"Dan you don't even look like you anymore how the fuck are people suppose to tell who you are" Phil asked

"Once I instagram a photo ppl will love me" Dan replied

Dan took out his phone and pulled out Instagram

He smiled ghettoly like the ghettofied bitch he was and posted it saying "new weave new me"

People were highly worried Dan was going insane

His boobs were not happy.

"DAN THE BABY IS NOT GOING TO EXCEPT THIS" Phil said, racing into his room.

But Dan was Dan

How bad COULD he be?