reddie oneshots

disgusted

optional: play the song above as you read

warning: contains homophobic slurs and explicit language

"Faggot!" As soon as the word left his lips, I felt myself break. I'd been keeping everything in- but the hot tears burned my eyes and raced down my cheeks. I didn't think anything could hurt more than my best friend calling me that, and before I could realize what he was doing, white hot pain coursed through me and his hand fell back to his side. Richie hit me.

My hands shook as I put the phone back on the receiver. Richie had agreed to meet me by the quarry. He had no idea what was happening, but it was the only thing on my mind. My sweaty palms gripped the handle bars on my bike as I peddled. My mind was creating every possible scenario. He could be understanding, he could kiss me, he could hate me... God he's going to hate me.

When I got to the quarry, I saw him standing against a tree. Richie Tozier, trashmouth himself. The sun shone down on him, illuminating his face. His jaw and his cheekbones were prominent in the light, and as I got closer I could see freckles dotting his nose. When Richie saw me, he pushed his dark curls out of his face and smiled. I took a second to admire his smile too, it could be the last one I ever got from him.

"What'd ya need to meet me here for?" Richie asked, meeting me in the middle. We were only a few feet apart.

"There's something I need to tell you... and you might hate me for it." I knew my voice was shaking, but I held back my tears. I didn't even know how he would react yet.

"Eds, I could never hate you." Richie shook his head and laughed, and for once I didn't want to correct the nickname. It meant we were still friends.

"Richie... I've been thinking about this for so long and if I don't tell you now I never will." I took a deep breath and looked at him. "I love you, Rich..."

Richie laughed and gave me a quizzical look, "yeah I love you too man." He didn't understand.

"No, Richie..." I looked at my hands, I didn't want to see his reaction. "I'm in love with you..."

Richie was silent. Richie was never silent for that long. I slowly looked up, trying to get something from his expression. Before I could try to analyze it he started yelling.

"That's- that's so fucking wrong!" He backed away from me, giving me a look of disgust so bad it seemed to physically hurt.

"You're wrong! You're a fucking fag! God- that's disgusting Eddie!" His voice was higher now, angrier. I blinked- I had imagined this exact thing happening. But now that it was, I knew I could never have imagined how much this hurt.

"Don't... don't call me that..." I managed to say, after a few seconds of stunned silence.

"It's what you are! I can't believe I've been friends with- with a faggot!" He yelled again, and I winced at the word.

"Faggot!" As soon as the word left his lips, I felt myself break. I'd been keeping everything in- but the hot tears burned my eyes and raced down my cheeks. I didn't think anything could hurt more than my best friend calling me that, and before I could realize what he was doing, white hot pain coursed through me and his hand fell back to his side. Richie hit me.

He raised his hand to do it again, but I ran. I forgot about my bike and I ran. Away from him. Away from the boy I was in love with. Tears streamed down my face and his voice echoed in my mind. Calling me that name. Telling me I was wrong. I'd been through a lot... but this was the worst pain I'd ever experienced. I ran, panting and gasping for air between my sobs. I pictured him, the last smile I'd seen from him, the last time he'd called me Eds. It was the last time for all of it... I'd never see him again.

a/n- sorry this was so sad. i had to do at least one sad one. also- i do not believe any of the comments i wrote in this story. the slur is offensive to me but it's something everyone deals with and i wanted to address it. anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed this.