"You're spacing out" Lexus raised a brow on me
I almost jump on my seat when he snapped at me. I tore my eyes from staring out the glass wall of our office.
I blinked my eyes. "I'm sorry" I said as I resumed what I am doing with my laptop.
I tried my best but I can't resist the temptation. I threw another glance on him.
He's perfect. Manly, in every inch of him. He can draw attention by simply walking on a room.
Just like what he's doing to me right now.
Funny how someone that used to be mine, is now unreachable and mighty.
But behind the regal and respectable image of him, hides a demon I once unleashed. He told me that I am the sin he's willing to burn in hell for. What we had was like a forbidden fruit. I was his forbidden fruit.
And I want to burn in hell with him. I willingly burned my soul for him. I gave him my body at the age of fifteen. And we managed to kept it a secret ro everyone.
For three years, we're fucking each other. I used to believe that he loves me. But I was long pulled out of that dream. I was nothing but a conquest. It must be thrilling for him to manipulate his best friend's sister. It must be a boost to his ego that he had me on his mercy.
We drifted apart, but last year I was back to being al over him. Our years apart made a ig difference to him. He's better in every possible way. And I felt more inferior to him. Mas nararamdaman ko na naging ilusyunada lang talaga ako na nagmamahalan kami noon.
Despite knowing the truth, that he didn't love me, he never did, I stayed on his side, willingly made myself his comfort woman. Because the sex is great, and I love him.
Or maybe, he only love me as a friend. And he mistook that for something greater.
But I know my place.
We're just players. And we're playing the dangerous game of fire.
We're no more than friends. And I am aware that someone like me doesn't suit him. Aside from being a Vergara, I am no one.
I should slap myself hard. And I must awake from the trance drawing me closer to the edge of my sanity. I don't want to jump. I can't jump and fall in love. Not with him.
I can commit a hundred sins with him... for him. But I can't take a single blow of rejection.
He's my first everything. But he shouldn't be the only one.
Because I know that I was nothing to him, but a friend.
I can't love him. No.
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October 17, 2017 - 01:36
