"T-Trey..." medyo nanginginig ang boses na tawag ko. "It's already two in the morning and it's already our third round. We should be sleeping"
I moaned slightly when he he pulled out his thing from my core. Damn, I'm sore!
Hindi na ako nahiya na pinanood ko ang bawat kilos n'ya. Tinanggal n'ya ang condm mula sa alaga n'ya at naghagilap s'ya ng papel na pagbabalutan nito bago n'ya tinapon sa trash bin sa gilid ng study table ko. Pumasok s'ya ng banyo at nang lumabas ay may dala na s'ya na warm towel. As usual.
He cleaned my honeypot then grab fresh undies for me. He adjusted the AC then lay beside me.
I snuggled closer to him.
"May group activity kami bukas" ungot ko sa kanya at mas niyakap pa s'ya. I love his warmth.
He pressed a kiss on my temple.
"Hindi kita masasamahan a. Pero ihahatid kita" he said then yawned.
Hindi na ako kumibo pa at ipinikit ko nalang ang mga mata ko.
It's not as if I am expecting him to do so. Alam ko na naman na hindi ko s'ya boyfriend. He doesn't have any duty to me.
Dati, malinaw sakin kung ano kami ni Trey. Pero ngayon, hindi ko na alam.
I am almost eighteen. Honestly, hindi na ako umaasa na matutuloy pa ang plano namin na aamin na kami sa relasyon namin. At ano'ng relasyon pa ba ang aaminin namin, na fuck buddies kami?
Okay naman kami ni Trey. Kahit na secret lang ang mayroon samin, masaya pa din ako. Dahil ako ang priority n'ya. He's always making a way to make me feel special.
But things changed when Tita Maine was diagnosed with leukemia. I can understand that it's a big obstacles in their family. I can understand that I am not his priority anymore. Pero sana naman, kahit konti may halaga pa din ako.
I am always willing to do everything for him. Anything to lessen his pain. I know that he's under a lot right now, but I can't tolerate that he's taking me for granted. Pakiramdam ko, comfort woman nalang n'ya ko.
He said that I am his calmness in his chaotic world. And I am willing to be anything for him. I love him with my all.
If he needs a good fuck to pull him out of his misery, I can give him that. I always gave him that.
But I am starting to have second thoughts about us now. Alam ko na hindi tama na mag-demand ako ngayon sa kanya. He already have so much in his plate right now. His mother is sick. Their business is falling because his father's only concern is to take care of Tita Maine. He's been forced to take a program that he doesn't want. He's been demanded to do so many things. Literal na naging de susi s'ya. Lahat ng kilos n'ya ay pinaplano ng iba.
Lahat ng pangarap at plano n'ya sa buhay ay nawalan ng lugar sa kanya dahil sa dami ng responsibilidad at obligasyon na pinapapasan sa kanya.
At pakiramdam ko ay isa na ako sa mga plano n'ya na wala nang saysay.
When I woke up, hindi ko na ginising pa si Trey. I know he needs sleep and rest. Taking two programs at the same time is no joke. Binigyan pa s'ya ng Tito Carlos n'ya ng trabaho sa airlines. I know Trey is a genius, but his family is demanding and expecting too much from him.
Matapos kong ayusin ang sarili ko, ni-set ko na ang alarm clock ng 8 am. 9 pa naman ang pasok ni Trey kaya may sapat na oras pa s'ya na mag-ayos.
I am staying at his penthouse. Regalo ni Tito Tee 'to sa kanya n'ong 21st birthday n'ya. Hindi naman nag-iisip ng masama sila Taytay na dito ako naka-stay. Ang alam lang nila ay komportable kasi ako dito. Malapit lang sa RUA at wala namang nakatira. Araw-araw kasing umuuwi si Trey sa kanila para sa Mommy n'ya. Nagpapalipas lang naman yon ng gabi dito kapag kailangan na n'yang huminga sa lahat ng pressure sa kanya. Hindi naman palagi na nag-se-sex lang kami kapag nandito s'ya. Minsan naglalabas lang s'ya ng hinaing n'ya sa buhay. I'm like a stress ball to him.
"Marron, nagawa mo na ba 'yong plates?" tanong agad sakin ni Marvin. He's our group leader.
Wala ako sa mood na makipag usap kaya inilapag ko nalang sa mesa ang pinagawa n'ya.
Buong araw ay tinapos lang namin ang project namin. Pinili ko din na sa mansyon ng mga Vergara umuwi. I need distraction. Ayoko na ma-depress ako dahil kay Trey.
Weeks passed, and the situation became worse, until Tita Maine died. Lahat ay nagluluksa sa pagkawala n'ya.
Trey has been so broken. Ginawa ko ang lahat para pagaanin kahit paano ang dalahin n'ya. But it's his mother. Staying with him and giving him comfort will not be enough.
At mas naging masakit para sa lahat nang mawala na din si Tito Troy.
At maging si Trey ay nawala na din sakin.
Naging napakalayo na n'ya sakin. Hindi ko na s'ya maabot. Hindi na s'ya ang dating si Trey. Hindi na s'ya ang lalaki na pinakasalan ko noong nine years old ako.
Lahat sa kanya ay minadali. He's only 21 but his obligations was that of a 31 year old man. Masyadong naging mabilis ang pag inog ng mundo n'ya, at naiwan na ako.
Gone was my sweet hubby. The Trey living today is a successful man, renowned pilot and businessman, and an eligible bachelor.
While me, I am Marron Ninel Vergara, a struggling mechanical engineer. Without my surname, I am nothing.
And our love for each other, was just a once upon a time...
_______________________
October 16, 2017
