Impossible love life of a fan girl

Surprise Chapter Part 3

Suho's Diary/Thoughts

*In Jeju Island

                   -Woah! May photoshoot kami sa Jeju Island?! Sa Jeju Jungjum Resort kami magstay for two days and one night! When we got there, dumiretso na kami sa Halla Mountain. Dun daw yung pictorial.  When it was finally break time, I was shocked to see Louise! She's in Jeju island?! Small world huh? I'm kinda happy knowing that she's here. We formed a circle habang kumakain, nilaro nga din namin nina Sehun yung bike ni Louise. I don't know what happened basta nagkatinginan lang kami. I don't want her to caught me so I just smiled. This day became more better nung nalaman ko na sa Jeju Jungjum Resort din sya magstay. She said na two weeks daw sya dito. Pagtapos ng photoshoot, pumunta na kami sa Resort. Nung una naglibot kaming lahat ng members kasama yung ibang staffs. A part of me wants to look for Louise. Saan kaya yung room nya dito sa resort?  When we finished our dinner, I decided to look for a place where I can rest peacefully.. While I'm searching for a place, may nakita ako na tree na may bench. Perfect! Masaya magrest dito. Umupo ako sa gilid ng puno at natulog ng konti. But I was interrupted when I heard a familliar voice singing "Lonely by 2NE1" I realized that it was Louise. Hindi ko muna sya kinausap, instead pinakinggan ko muna syang tapusin yung pagkanta nya.. When we finally talked, I realized na medyo sad sya. I can tell that she's really looking for a comforter. She told me about her past memories that made her heart shattered into pieces. About ata yun sa guy..nung fourth year daw sya. She told me lahat ng nangyari sa kanya. I'm scared na baka umiyak sya cause I can really see na sobrang nasasaktan sya.  But what amazed me is despite of all her dark memories, she manages to be brave. I thought about the courage she had shown nung nangyari sa kanya yun. I marveled that despite what happened, she managed to hold on to her optimistic view of the world. I don't know how to comfort her so I just said some simple things, but what I said means a lot to me. Deep inside I kinda got angry sa guy na sinabi nya sakin na pinaasa sya. How can he leave her?! How come there's guy would have ever wanted to run away from Louise Kim?.. Before I left her, I was marvelling at the fact that while in an ordinary place, I'd somehow fallen in love with an extraordinary fan girl named Louise Kim...

*The mascot
 

                 -It is the meet and greet of EXO to their EXO fans sa tapat ng building.. So while we were on stage, I saw Chanyeol na patagong kumakaway dun sa may right corner, Tiningnan ko kung san sya nakatingin..Then I saw Louise..wearing a mascot thingy?! Seeing her wearing that mascot while cheering us even though pinagpapawisan na sya, she looks absolutely amazing. Nung sumakay na kami sa van, it started to rain, nang biglang nakita ng isa sa staffs si Louise dun sa may waiting shed. They told her na sumabay na sya.. I was hoping na katabi ko sya pero sad to say, katabi nya ang right window at si Sehun. I was reading a magazine but Chanyeol blurted out na ako daw ang nagbuhat kay Louise?! Ang alam ni Louise ay si Baekhyun ang nagbuhat sa kanya, napatingin tuloy sakin si Louise, but I kept on reading the magazine para hindi ipahalata ang nararamdaman ko.. What if she thinks that I'm a liar? I'm in a big trouble. Sabi nya sa restaurant na lang daw ni Jeong-il namin sya ibaba. Nung nakauwi na kami sa dorm namin.. I'm worried na baka magkasakit ulit sya dahil malakas ang ulan.. I don't know what got in to me, Kumuha ako ng umbrella at pumunta sa restaurant ni Jeong-il.. Nakita ko sya na sobrang naiinip na.. Nang biglang nilapitan ko sya and told her na ihatid ko na sya.. She will probably feel sad if mag-isa lang sya uuwi.  At that moment I could only think of one thing. She needs to be alright. Baka kasi magkafever na naman sya.. My heart starts to acknowledge thousands of thoughts like this.

*Her Confession..

                     -Palagi ko na syang nakikita sa restaurant ni Jeong-il. I'm kinda happy knowing that I can see her everytime I go here in Jeong-il's resto. But this time, it felt really awkward.. She told me to come with her in the park. I asked her kung ano yung sasabihin nya then she suddenly closed her eyes and said "Saranghae!" I don't know how to react! Thousands of words are in my mind. So I just told her that I don't understand then she started to tell me everything..kung pano nya ko nakilala sa picture. She told me how lucky she was dahil palagi na nya akong nakikita. She also told me na palagi pala syang nandun sa restaurant ni Jeong-il para lang makita ako. What she said made my heart bursts..I don't know how to respond.. This unknown feeling to me, it's like water are all stuck in my mouth.. I want to tell her "I also love you! You're the girl of my dreams! I'm lucky I found you! You complete me!" But sad to say, I didn't have the courage to tell her all of this.. So I just said that it's a "fan girl thingy" I thanked her for loving me that much. I know na hindi yun fan girl stuffs, I know na what she said to me are all real.... Alam ko na nasaktan sya nung sinabi ko na it's just a fan girl thingy. I can't stand this! Looking at her, while knowing that her heart is falling to pieces..I can't take it..Kasi I thought na it's not the right time.. Nakafocus pa ko sa goal ko.. What if pag nagkaron kami ng relationship, pano ko maiexplain to sa ibang fans at sa SM Ent.?? So naisip ko na this is not the right time. Ayokong magsinungaling sa kanya pero nagawa kong magsinungaling na kunyari may rehearsal pa kaya I need to go.. I just can't stand looking at her sad face. Nung naglalakad ako pabalik sa dorm, I kept repeating "I'm sorry louise" in my mind.. It's just that, I'm just a boy who couldn't face my own feeling... My heart hurts. My heart that normally doesn't feel anything, today it felt like my heart is being stab with a knife...I'm sorry..

*Saying Sorry...

                     -After that incident, medyo naging awkward na sya sakin, tuwing pupunta sya sa mga fan-signing event..Hindi sya makatingin sakin.. Ako din, medyo nahihiya.. I just couldn't face her! Halos palagi na syang ganto.. So I decided to say sorry.. Good thing she told me na medyo okay na sya.. She told me na wala sya sa sarili nya kaya pinagsasabi nya yun.. Does this mean na hindi totoo yung mga sinabi nya sakin na..she loves me?.. But a part of me knows that it's real..

*She's pretty..

                      -It M! Countdown.. Nung kami na yung magpeperform, I was shocked to see Louise... A very beautiful girl.. She looks absolutely perfect and amazing. In front of her, I acted as if I didn't care but deep inside, I'm freezed all over. While we're performing, medyo naenergized ako magperform because I know she's watching me. I decided to have courage to tell her na she looks pretty nung nasa vending machine kami. Nung sinabi ko yun, I looked at her blushing expression, even her ears turn red. She's full of expectations. Her expression is just like a small kid, this is really interesting..Let me tell you a secret, everytime she's not looking at me, I look at her as she's melt.. Good thing she don't know na palagi ko syang tinitingnan.. It's just that, I don't get tired of looking at her..

*My Confession..

                  -It was a foggy night, pumunta muna ako sa living room.. I just can't sleep. All I could do was replay Louise's confession when we were in the park for the hundredth time and wonder how I could be falling for an extraordinary fan girl. I was interrupted by Baekhyun.. He asked me if I've ever been in love... I told him, "I think I'm in love right now.." He was really shocked. Sinabi ko sa kanya lahat-lahat about kay Louise.. I told him na hindi ko alam kung pano ako magcconfess kay Louise.
Then he told me, "If you love someone, never hesitate to tell her what you feel. Cause sometimes, broken hearts are caused by UNSPOKEN WORDS." Baekhyun's right.
                 
-I told her na ihatid ko na sya pauwi and I thought na this is the right time to tell her everything about what I feel.. This is really the time....I grabbed her wrist and pull her closer to me..I want to hug her, I want to kiss her, I want to be with her forever... But this time, I think I'll just hugged her and confess everything.. Kissing her this time is kinda inappropriate. Kasi magcconfess pa lang ako..Basta all I know is that I'll just hug her and confess everything, and that's enough for me to be happy...
                   

 -I'm still not sure how it happened. One instant we were talking, and in the next I grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to me. For a second, I wondered wether hugging her would break the spell we both were under, but it was too late to stop. And when I finally hugged each other, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I frst hugged the girl of my dreams and I knew that my love would last forever..

After that, I asked her something that means a lot to me.. 

While hugging her, I asked,







"Will you be mine?"


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Hello! :))) Yung last paragraph, cinopy ko na lang yung nasa chapter 53, nakakatamad kasi itype xD Kasi diba ganyan din yung sinabi nya sa sneak peek? :D Anyway, that's the end of the surprise chapter.. Do you like it? :) I hope so... Anyway, next chapter ay ang chapter 54!!! :)) Hintayin nyo lang ako magupdate and please be patient.. :) 

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From: ImpossibleDreamer