Trust From Within - Book 3 Daughter of a Monster Series

Chapter 1- An Unknown Pain

Charlie rolls over as I sit on my bed, sleepily crawling onto my lap then settling down again. The little spider has grown immensely over the past few months since Iro died, so much so that they're now fully grown, but they aren't as big as a normal spider. Turns out they're a mix of cave spider and field spider, meaning they kept their small size, yet the fur decorating them has the patterns and colours of a regular spider. Basically, they look like a mini version of a field spider. I stroke the little hairs that cover their body, a low purr coming from them. The scar on their side is still visible under the dark black hairs, a reminder of that day when I found them.

A knock on my door has my eyes snapping up, the door opening to reveal a familiar blonde haired boy, golden eyes meeting mine. He walks over to me and sits beside me, stroking Charlie. "How are you?" he asks. I shrug nonchalantly, not giving him an actual answer. "Don't give me that bullshit, tell me, Jade, what's up?"

"It's just- don't you remember this day?" I breathe out.

"Not particularly, why? What is it?" he answers confusedly.

"It's the day I died, exactly a year ago," I answer barely above a whisper, the scar on my chest tingling as it has been all day, ever since I woke up it's been feeling really weird, as though something is crawling through it.

"Shit, Jade, I-I'm sorry I didn't realise, I-"

"It's okay, Cole. I understand, you don't really have a reason to remember it. It's just- the scar on my chest, it's been feeling weird all day. I haven't seen Dad yet either, I'm just- I don't know how to feel. Y'know, I died this day exactly one year ago, yet I'm sitting here, in the Nether, entirely alive."

"I guess I can understand how that may be... unusual..." he responds. I laugh a little, lightly punching him in the arm, which slightly stirs Charlie, but they fall back asleep in my lap.

"Unusual isn't even the start of it," I breathily say. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, my head resting on his shoulder, the buzzing of the necklace on him a nice feeling, the familiarity of it calming me slightly.

"It's okay, you're here now, that just proves you've been able to survive me for a whole year," he says, trying to lighten the mood.

"I just wonder, what would it be like if I did stay dead that day? If Notch didn't send me back? Jay and Notch would probably still be alive, Iro would probably still be a skeleton, everyone would have been saved a lot of hurt and-"

"Jade, you know that isn't true. Steve wouldn't be able to live with himself, nor would Hero, and even Notch would feel like shit because he couldn't do anything. Jay and I would be torn up, and I wouldn't of found my sister, Karn wouldn't of found Tara, there would be just as much hurt, you need to stop telling yourself that you're so worthless. You're not, your family loves you, everyone here-" he gestures to the space around us. "Loves you. It would devastate everyone."

"Three people wouldn't have died, Cole! Two of your family members wouldn't have died if I had just stayed dead!" I yell in frustration, tears brimming at my eyes and spilling down my cheeks. "If it weren't for me, people wouldn't have been killed!" My magic tries to comfort me, curling into me, but I push it away. I'm right, I know I am. If I had just done what I was meant to do that day and stayed dead, none of this would've happened, people wouldn't be so damn heartbroken. One person dying is nothing compared to three.

Cole pulls me into his chest, Charlie crawling out from my lap and up onto my shoulder, Cole's magic encompassing both myself and my magic that whines out at me. I cry against Cole, the emotions weighing on me exploding like a block of TNT, dragging me down into the darkest reaches of my mind.