Chapter Forty-Two

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Hi all,

This chapter has a trigger warning because it speaks of suicide. If you're sensitive to this subject then I strongly recommend skipping this chapter.

For suicide help please call one of the hotlines listed below:

Argentina: +5402234930430

Australia: 131114

Austria: 017133374

Belgium: 106

Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05

Botswana: 3911270

Brazil: 212339191

Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223

Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)

Croatia: 014833888

Denmark: +4570201201

Egypt: 7621602

Finland: 010 195 202

France: 0145394000

Germany: 08001810771

Holland: 09000767

Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000

Hungary: 116123

Iceland: 1717

India: 8888817666

Ireland: +4408457909090

Italy: 800860022

Japan: +810352869090

Mexico: 5255102550

New Zealand: 045861048

Netherlands: 09000113

Norway: +4781533300

Philippines: 028969191

Poland: 5270000

Russia: 0078202577577

Spain: 914590050

South Africa: 0514445691

Sweden: 46317112400

Switzerland: 143

United Kingdom: [Various recources](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/)

USA: 18002738255

Thank you

--------------------------

"I just stayed with him...talked to him" I explain.

"Why?" Raff questions.

It's a good question. I had to think about it for a second - causing me to sigh.

Why did I stay with Ned that night? I've been told on multiple occasions that I'm selfish - it doesn't make sense that I would help him. Perhaps I'm not as toxic as I've been told.

Ned reminds me so much of myself. Maybe that's why?

"I guess I know what its like to feel that lost" I explain. "And have nobody"

"What did you tell him when he asked how you recovered?"

"I said that it took a massive bitch slap from the universe to wake me up"

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