Matt's POV
I had the shits with everyone by the time we got to the airport, especially myself.
I still couldn't believe that I was going away for two weeks and instead of spending the last night with my girlfriend, I got drunk with the guys.
"She'll get over it." Brian told me as we were boarding the plane.
"Fuck off." I told him, actually that was pretty much my reply to everyone for the rest of the flight.
And then we were there. Constantly busy.
I wanted to call Ana, but truthfully I was too scared to hear what she might say to me.
It was at the end of the first week, travelling between cities that Jimmy sat next to me.
"Will you just fucking call her when we get there." he said.
"Yeah, I guess, I just want her cool down Jim." What a lame excuse.
"Oh fuck off, I'm sure she's fine by now. I personally think your too scared." he told me " So just fucking call her already, your miserable and frankly it's pissing me, no, us off."
So when we got there I called her, I guess I wasn't surprised that she didn't answer, I just hope she called me back.
But she didn't.
We had four days left, two gigs to do when Brian came to my room.
"Dude, I'm worried about you." he told me.
"I'm fine, just pissed at myself."
"What for? So you fucked up, it happens, and knowing you you'll fuck up again, so stop being so hard on yourself." He sat down.
"I guess I am worried that I fucked it up." I was looking at my hands, deep conversations were not mine and Brians thing.
"Man, I need to sort myself out, Jimmy's gonna have a kid, your in love and I'm just here, doing nothing." he told me.
"Yeah, well we gotta grow up sometime." And that was the end of that conversation.
I was starting to feel better knowing we were going home in a few days, we'd just finished our second last show, and it was a great show, so we were all sitting around my room having a few drinks unwinding and talking about what we were going to do tomorrow because we had a day off.
"Surfing." Jim said " We're going surfing."
Everyone agreed. Why not.
My phone rang, I picked it up and looked at it.
Jim raised his eyebrows at me, I knew he was asking me if it was Ana.
I shook my head "Josh." I told him answering it.
"What's up." I said.
There was silence on the other end.
"Josh. You there?" I asked, we must've had a bad connection.
"Yeah, I'm here." he sounded strange "Matt, I gotta tell...you....I need" and he stopped again.
I walked over to the door that led out to a patio, I let myself out and shut the door behind me.
"What is it Josh?" I asked, I had a sick feeling in my stomach.
"Mom, it's mom, fuck Matt she died." he was crying.
I sat down heavily on a chair and rubbed my hand over my face, I couldn't talk, I didn't trust myself.
"You there?" Josh asked.
