Ana's POV
I didn't want to be here, sitting here at my mother's funeral. I had my eye's closed so I didn't have to look at that coffin.
I didn't listen to a thing, all I could hear was people crying around me and I just wanted it over.
I leaned on Matt, poor Matt who was stuck here dealing with all of this, me, my family, he didn't have to but he was.
"Hey." he whispered and I looked up, everyone was leaving.
We went outside where everyone was. I looked around. Josh was standing off by himself and dad and Stacey were talking to friends and family, and I, well I just wanted to go home.
"Hey were gonna go, but we'll see you at Ana's dads house." I heard Jimmy say to Matt.
Ah yes, now we had to go and have a party, well a wake, but really, it was a party. I didn't want to go, my mother was dead and I didn't want to stand around eating and drinking.
I wasn't paying attention to anything, people were coming up to me and I still wasn't listening.
Matt lead me to the car again, I let him.
We drove to my father's house.
"Ana, are you ok?" He asked me.
I looked at him and I shrugged, I mean what could I say.
We arrived and went inside. I made my way to the couch, my plan was to sit here until it was all over. People were coming over and talking to me and I was being polite and making small talk but the truth was I wanted to scream at all of them. My grandmother sat with me for awhile so Matt took the opportunity to talk to the guys.
I really just wanted to leave.
I felt someone sit down next to me. I looked over, it was Stacey.
I know my sister was as devastated as I was and I know she was only blaming me because she was grieving and she needed to direct her anger somewhere, but it hurt, everything she said hurt.
"Ana." she said, I looked at her "You ruin everything."
How, how did I ruin everything?
"Our mother was dying and you monopolized all of her time with all of your little problems. Matt this and Matt that. I got nothing from her, no time, and for what Ana." I stared in disbelief unsure at what she saying. "Look at him over there." I followed her gaze to Matt. "Don't you wonder what he see's in you? I bet he's sorry now. Look at him laughing and smiling, it's the first time I've seen him smile all day, and you know why he's smiling Ana?" I shook my head "Because he's away from you." She leaned in close to me and hissed in my ear "You poison everything you touch. You want proof, there it is over there."
I felt tears running down my face "Why would you say that Stacey, why?" I was sobbing now.
"Oh look at yourself Ana, take a good look at yourself, why would someone like Matt go out with you? Do you want to know why Ana? Why he's with you?" I wiped at my face and nodded "Because of mom. She asked him to take care of you. She actually made him promise, so guess what? Now he feels obliged. Nice Ana." And she got up and walked away.
I was shocked. Was it true? Did mom make him promise? I looked over at him and he was smiling, he was happy to be away from me. I thought of all the times he'd told me he wasn't going anywhere, him telling me he would be there for me, he was only saying it because he made a promise to my mom.
I stood up, I needed to go, I wasn't wanted or needed here.
I walked to the door and opened it. It was pouring with rain but I didn't care. I stepped out in it and closed my eye's. I started walking. I was cold and it didn't matter.
