Beautiful Chaos

Funeral

Zayn's P.O.V---

I walked into her house, holding a bouquet of black roses. The rooms were dark and filled with people silently crying. I walked up to her dad who was on the couch. "I am sorry for your loss, sir." I said, looking at him, his eyes red and puffy. "How are you holding up, son?" He asked and I lay my head on his lap, crying out. He patted my back and pulled me up. "My daughter wouldn't like to see you cry." He said and I wiped my tears, looking down. 

"Where is she?" I asked and he looked ahead towards the backyard. Giving him a hug, I walked when Rakhi came up to me. "Hey, Zayn." She said and I gave her a broken smile. She broke down into tears and I hugged her tight. "Did you see her yet?" I asked and she nodded. Walking down the steps, I opened the door to the backyard. I saw a coffin ahead and my heart throbbed. 

"Zayn!" Her mother cried and I went over, giving her a hug. "I am so sorry!" I said, my vocie breaking. "I am sorry for you too, love. Go see her." She said, pulling away and walking inside with tears streaming down her eyes. I inched closer and my vision turned blurry. 

Kneeling down next to the coffin, I looked at her pale face. She looked so broken yet so beautiful. She was dressed in this black silk gown, that fit her body. Her chubby cheeks had sunk in, her nails painted this dark blue-black color and I all I wanted to do was hold them. Red lipstick dressed her lips and there she was inside, holding my life with within her ceased heart. I looked at her stomach. 

My baby, she was dead. She had never seen how lovely her mother was. Never saw how much her father loved her. I was the dad to my still born baby. She was my blood and flesh. All I could imagine was how beautiful of a woman she would be, just like Lakshita. I touched the cold glass and tears slipped down my cheeks. "I love you..." I whispered. 

Everything that I wished for was for them to be alive. To come back to me again. I stood up, walking away from her. I couldn't be there anymore, to see my girl get buried. To see my life get buried. I drove straight to the apartment. In all that frustration that had built up in me, I wanted to break everything. But everything held her memory and I would do nothing but hold it close to my heart. 

I decided I couldn't live there, in our apartment without her. Grabbing a couple of suitcases including hers, I started stuffing my clothes. I grabbed certain clothes from her wardrobe, her body lotion, her 'Wonderstruck' perfume and a couple of other things. 

I went over to her shelf and opened the draw to find her diary.

Putting it into the bag, I stuffed the things from her backpack into my suitcase. Done with the packing, I walked down to find her car. I decided to call Andy to get the car to my garage. 

Staying with the boys seemed to be a good idea and I drove back there. I unpacked everything in the attic where I decided to stay. 

I came down to the kitchen, grabbed a cup of yogurt from the fridge and sat on the couch, turning on the TV to watch new about her death. 

And thus I began my life without the love of my life.