Impossible (Jerrie)

thirty

Jade's pov

I was just standing there,with a blank expression on my face. Let's be serious,Jed is a pretty good looking guy,but I wouldn't give up the girl with blue eyes for him,never in my life.

"Jadey,everything good in there?" I hear Perrie knocking at the door

"Yeah,I'll be out in a minute" I say,waking up to reality and actually doing my morning routine.

I washed my face,and applied some mascara.

"I'm hungry. Wanna make some pancakes?" I ask,with a smile on my face,unfortunately that smile wasn't so real .

"Actually,I have to go,I have to do this project with Lee and I can't stay any longer. I am so sorry,Jade!" I noticed that Perrie was already dressed and her hair looked to good. How long have I been in that bathroom?

"No problem! See you later,okay?" I say,kissing her lips. I missed her cherry chapstick,she hasn't worn that in a while.

She got her bag and left. I finally got more time to think about that stupid message. And,that's when I remember that he actually sent me 2 messages,but I didn't get the ocasion to read the second one.

Jed : Please,don't tell Perrie about this,if you haven't already. She will think is a kind of stupid joke,but I promise it isn't. Take care of yourself. Xoxo

Of course I will not tell Perrie. But,why would Jed tell me this now? It's not like my relationship with Perrie will last forever.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. Leigh Anne's same appeared on the screen.

"Hi Lee" I say

"Mornin' Jadey. You aren't going to school today,right?"

"No I'm not. Why?"

"Just making sure." I could imagine her smile that would brighten up the room

"Can I ask you something?" I didn't want to ask her this,but I needed to make sure. This whole situation was just..odd?

"Sure thing go ahead"

"Is Perrie with you? She said she will come by your place for a project or something" I know I had to trust Perrie,after all we were togheter.

"Actually..no. We don't even have a project togheter" Those words were the ones I didn't want to hear,but I did.

"Thanks Leigh talk later" I say,hanging up.

Perrie left like 1 hour ago,and Leigh Anne's house is like a 15 minutes walk from my house. She was suppose to be there for 45 minutes,but she isn't.

She doesn't love you,Jade. Is all a game.
But,she said she loved me.
Lies.

"Shut up!" I yell,trying to stop those voices in my head.

You will be the one who will shut up after you find out what Perrie did to you.

"No! Shut up!" I yell once again

"Jade honey is everything alright?" I hear mom calling out for me

"Yeah,just watching a TV show" I say,and she just yelled back a "okay"

But it wasn't okay. Nothing was 'okay'. My life was literally the worse,all that I could hear were the voices in my head that were constantly telling me to end it all. I didn't pay attention to those,though. The nightmares kept getting worse and worse every night.

I got the photo that was resting on my night stand,beside my bed. In the photo were me and my sister,smiling widely at the photo. I was so happy back then. I thought that my life would get better because I moved here. The only positive thing that happened is that I made some amazing friends and what I thought is the love of my life. Turns out,she lied to me and I need to know why.

The only thing that cured me from the bullies back in Dublin was her smile. Her smile was so beautiful,like it could cure anyone with any disease in this world. Her eyes,in perfect match with her long,curly,blonde hair,were so deep that remind you of the ocean.

I was crying. Hard. I got flashbacks of some of the most funny and amazing moments from the past,when I moved here,in London. The sky was crying along with me. The sound of the rain on my window was making the whole atmosphere a lot more sadder than it already is.

Out of the blue,my phone buzzed. I closed as soon as I saw Perrie's name appeared on the screen. I want to start getting colder with her. She did lie to me,thing that I have never did,except from telling her I was fine all the time even if I wasn't.

She could be with Alex,the boy that beat me and made my face a mess,also her ex boyfriend. I don't expect for her to tell me everything and everywhere she goes,but I don't want her to lie to me in this way,is not that good in a relationship.

I decided to go on Twitter,just to get my find off the things that were going on,when I see that Alex posted a new picture. I start rubbing my eyes,thinking that I'm just tired and I'm not seeing Perrie,my girlfriend,with a huge smile on her face,beside Alex.

@alexchamberlain : Amazing day with @perrieedwards

(A/n : I know that Perrie doesn't have a Twitter,this is fictional)

Before I logged out of Twitter,I read some of the comments that were like 'you guys are so good togheter' or 'did the lesiban broke up w/ Pezza?' and the list could go on even more.

I wanted to text Perrie so bad,so that I could get some explanations,that I so clearly needed. But I decided not to text her,maybe she did want to tell me after all where she really was.

I was hugging tightly the photo of me and Sophie. I missed her a lot. She was by my side whenever I needed,same for me. I loved her so much,I still do,even if she died,she will always be my sister and I'm proud with that.

Speaking of family members,since dad moved to Cardiff,the communication between us went downhill. He would barely call,and when I got time and call him,he was busy and viceversa. I still missed him,he has taught me so much,to never stop cashing for what or who you really love. I could use a good advice from him in this moments.

My family was simply drifting apart,and there's nothing I can do about it. Just dream with open eyes at how my life would have been if I didn't move here. I am quite grateful for that,but not fully. I was starting to miss my life in Dublin. This city and the people in it changed my life.

_

Chapter 30 yeee